MUBASHRAT INTERCOURSE FOR WOMEN

MUBASHRAT INTERCOURSE FOR WOMEN

Shaadi ki bunyad mubashrat hai magar humarey haan aksar log iss ki alif bay sey bhi waqif nahin yaqeen karein kuch logon ko to yeh bhi ma'aloom nahin kay mubashrat kahan hoti hai woh exact jagah konsi hai? Iss silsilay mein humari khawateen ki ma'aloomaat to na honey kay baraber hain jis ki wajah sey woh azdwajii zindagi sey bharpoor andaaz sey lutf andooz nahin hotiin bul kay aksar to shadeed jhunjhalahat (frustration) ka shikar hoti rehti hain. Humarey haan amooman mubashrat ko achi cheez nahin samjha jata jis ki wajah sey aksar khawateen jinsi amal mein bharpoor shirkat aur ta'awwun nahin kartiin nateejatan woh khud bhi aksar auqaat azdwajii lutf sey mehroom rehti hain aur khawand bhi bharpoor jinsi sukoon aur lutf hasil nahin kar pata. Haala'n kay islam mein shadi kay ba'ad mubashrat koi na pasandeeda cheez nahin bul kay Allah kay nabi ney mubashrat ko naekii aur sadqa qaraar diya hai jis ka sawab milta hai.(muslim) aur agar biwi ta'awwun na karey to woh gunah ki murtakib hoti hai. (bukhari) Aksar khawateen kay nazdeek mubashrat ek takleef deh cheez hai aur woh iss se khauf zada hoti hain chuna'ncha mubashrat kay iss khud saakhta khauf ki wajah se inn ka jism tann aur akar jata hai, khusoosan faraj (vagina) kay muscles tann jatey hain jis ki wajah se mubashrat ka amal takleef deh ho jata hai. Lekin agar biwi mubashrat kay doran apney jism, khusoosan faraj (vagina) kay paththo'n (muscles) ko bilkul dheela chor dey to amooman mubashrat mein takleef nahin hoti. Aam tor per shuru ki chund mubashraton mein kuch takleef hoti hai lekin yeh takleef bhi uss takleef sey kam hoti hai jo aurton ko zaiwar kay shoq main naak, kaan mein chaed karwaney sey hoti hai.

SEXUAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MAN AND WOMEN

Jinsi (sexually) le'haz sey mard aur aurat mein fitri tor per bohut sexual differences (jinsi farq) hain, mard ma'amooli ishteaal (stimulation) sey bohut jald jinsi amal kay liye tayyar ho jata hai phir jun'hi mard jinsi tor per mushta'il ho jata hai to woh mubashrat kay zari'ay manzil ho kar jinsi sukoon hasil karna chahta hai lekin agar woh jinsi ishtia'al kay ba'ad manzil na ho to woh na sirf apney aap ko ghaer mutma'in mehsoos karta hai bul kay shadeed jhunjhalaahat aur takleef (discomfort) ka shikar ho jata hai. Agar mard ko biwi kay adum ta'awwun ki wajah sey bar bar iss tajurbey sey guzarna parey to phir ya to woh jins mein dilchaspi kho deta hai, ba'az intihaee surto'n mein to woh na mardi ka shikar ho jata hai ya phir doosri aurton ki taraf maa'il ho kar gunah ki daldal mein dhans jata hai. Isi liye Allah kay nabi ney farmaya : "shohar jab biwi ko apni zaroorat kay liye bulaey to woh foran uss kay liye hazir ho jaey chahey woh tanoor per bethi ho (roti paka rahi ho)"(tirmazi) Ek doosri hadees mein irshaad hai kay shohar jab bhi apni biwi ko apney bister per bulaey aur woh inkaar kar dey to farishtey subah tak uss per la'anat bhejte rehtey hain (bukhari)

  Jinsi tayyari kay liye waqt kay le'haz sey bhi donon mein bohut difference (farq) hai mard jinsi amal kay liye jald tayyar ho jata hai, mard do teen minute kay jinsi ishti'aal sey manzil ho kar orgasm (intiha-e-lazzat) hasil kar leta hai, jab kay aurat ko orgasm hasil karne kay liye  Fitri tor per mard sey 10 guna zyada waqt ki zaroorat hai usey orgasm kay liye, 30 minute kay mohabbat kay khel (Foreplay) aur a'aza-e-makhsoosa (genitals) kay ishtia'al ki zaroorat hai. Mard aur aurat kay jinsi tajurbey bhi ek doosrey sey mukhtalif hotey hain mard bunyadi tor per jinsi haejaan ko kharij karna chahta hai jab kay aurat ka tajurba iss kay bilkul ulat hota hai aurat ko jinsi khushi uss waqt zyada mehsoos hoti hai jab uss kay jinsi haejaan mein aahista aahista izafa ho.

SEXUAL DESIRE IN MAN AND WOMEN

Mian biwi ki sexual desires (jinsi khwahish) bhi ek jaisi nahin hoti kabhi mard mein kam aur aurat mein zyada hoti hai aur kabhi iss ka ulat hota hai iss tarah kabhi khawand mein jinsi khwahish (libido) zyada hoti hai aur kabhi biwi mein. Amooman mard ki sexual desires (jinsi khwahish) aurat ki nisbat kuch zyada aur shadeed hoti hai, usooli tor per mard ki jinsi khwahish aur dilchaspi 17 ta 19 saal ki umar mein urooj per hoti hai jab kay aurat kay jinsi urooj ki umar 25 ta 39 saal hai. Mard aur aurat ki jinsi khwahish aur dilchaspi mein tabdeeli aati rehti hai ba'az auqaat zehni daba'u aur zyada masroofiyat ki wajah sey mard ki sexual desires (libido) kam ho jati hai jab kay doosri taraf khawand ghar sey bahar pur kashish khawateen ko dekhta hai jiski wajah sey usey zyada jinsi angaekht ka samna karna parta hai iss surat mein uss kay jinsi jazbaat foran mushta'il ho jatey hain phir woh jinsi sukoon chahta hai. Isi liye Allah kay nabi ney farmaya: "tum mein se kisi ko jab (koi doosri) aurat bhali mehsoos ho aur dil per chot parey to chahiyie kay apni biwi kay sath humbister ho, iss tadbeer sey ajnabee aurat ka asar dil sey jata rahega."(muslim)

Isliye zaroori hai kay biwi aisi soorat e haal mein khawand kay sath ta'awwun karey warna gunah gaar hogi. Ek survey mein ma'aloom hua kay 2/3 khawateen mardon ki nisbat mubashrat ki kam khwahish rakhti hain, Kinsey kay survey kay mutabiq shaadi kay shuru mein khawand biwi sey zyada mubashrat ki khwahish rakhta hai lekin darmiyani umar (35 -40) mein ulat yani iss umar mein aurat zyada jinsi khwahish rakhti hai. Hunt kay survey sey ma'aloom hua kay 5% aurton mein shadi kay ba'ad mubashrat ki khwahish nisbatan kam thi yani shaadi kay ibtida'ee dino'n mein iski jinsi khwahish kam thi magar Redook kay survey mein 33% biwiyon ney bataya kay unki khwahish thi kay woh mojooda haalat sey zyada mubashrat kartiin. Aksar mahireen ka khayal hai kay mard sex ko zyada ahmiat deta hai jab kay aurat romance ko magar ba'az doosrey mahireen ka khayal hai kay donon mubashrat chahtey hain yani donon jinsi khwahish kay hawale sey mukhtalif nahi, doosrey alfaz mein aurat bhi sex ko bohut pasand karti hai farq yeh hai kay aurat ko sex sey bharpoor lutf andoz honay kay liye kam az kam 20 ta 30 minute Foreplay (mohabbat kay khel) ki zaroorat hoti hai jab kay mard ko amooman sirf 2, 3 minute kay foreplay ki zaroorat hai aur ba'az ko koi zaroorat nahin, woh foran jinsi amal kay liye tayyar ho jatey hain ta'hum ek baat per saarey mahireen muttafiq hain kay mard bunyadi tor per mubashrat aur inzal chahta hai, woh mard jin ko bharpoor sex milti hai woh apni biwiyon ko bharpoor mohabbat detey hain kyun kay mard kay dil aur rooh ko kholney kay liye usey bharpoor sex ki zaroorat hai.

JINSI AMAL MAIN TAIZ AURAT (SEXUALLY ACTIVE WOMEN)

Humarey haan taqreeban tamam biwia'n sexually active (jinsi amal mein fa'aal) kirdar ada nahin kartiin kabhi pehel nahin kartiin, jinsi amal kay doran woh ek zinda laash ki tarah bey hiss pari rehti hain jo kuch karna hota hai mard hi karta hai, khawateen to apney jinsi lutf ka izhaar bhi nahin kartiin. Aisi surat mein khawand manzil to ho jata hai magar sex sey lutfandoz nahin ho pata yani usko bharpoor sex nahin milti jiski wajah sey woh biwi ko bharpoor mohabbat nahin dey pata. Shayad khawateen ka khayal hai kay agar woh sexually active (jinsi fa'aal) hongi to khawand unko pasand nahin karey ga haqeeqat yeh hai kay aksar mard unn aurton ko pasand kartey hain jo jinsi amal mein fa'aal (sexually active) kirdaar ada karti hain aur khawand ko batati hain kay woh unkay sath sex sey lutf andoz hoti hain. Amooman khayal kya jata hai kay zyada mubashrat sehat kay liye nuqsan deh hai jab kay haqeeqat bilkul iss kay ulat hai, aurton mein jinsi hormones ki zyada miqdaar aurat ki haddiyon ko mazboot karti hai jo kay menopause mein patli ho jati hain aur inn kay tootney ka khatra barh jata hai, iss kay elawa Estrogen ki zyada miqdaar khawateen ko dil kay masa'il sey bhi bachati hai aur zindagi ko khushi ka ehsaas deti hai. Baqaeda sex ki wajah sey aurat san yaas (menopause) kay bohut sey masa'il sey buch jati hai jis ka tafseeli zikar "burhapa aur jinsi zindagi" waley baab mein aaey ga.

SEX KARNAY KI LIMIT

Regular sex mard kay liye bhi mufeed hai uska testosterone level bhi buland ho jata hai jo mard ki jinsi khwahish aur erection (tana'u) kay liye zaroori aur mufeed hai, iss ki wajah sey fard zyada taqatwer aur pur aetmaad mehsoos karta hai aur jinsi amal ko umar ki aakhri hudd tak jari rakh sakta hai. Yaad rahey kay jinsi khwahish aur tana'u ka ta'alluq jinsi hormone kay sath hai estrogen aur testosterone kay level ko barqaraar rakhney kay liye haftey mein 2 baar mubashrat mufeed aur zaroori hai. Research batati hai kay orgasm bunyadi tor per aurat ki sehat kay liye mufeed hai, waisey bhi jinsi amal sawab ka baa'iss hai phir iss sawab kay husool mein kanjoosi kyun? Ta'hum jinsi amal sirf mubaashirat nahin jinsi sukoon ko mubashrat kay elawa doosrey tareeqo'n sey bhi haasil kya ja sakta hai jis ka tafseeli zikr "jinsi sukoon kay matabadil tareeqey" waley hissey mein hoga. Humarey haan amooman larkey larkiyan donon apni khalwat ki baatein doosrey logon ko bata dete hain haala'n kay Allah kay nabi ney khalwat ki baatein doosron ko batane sey sakhti sey mana'a farmaya hai. Islam mein yeh bilkul haram hai.

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SHAADI (MARRIAGE)

SHAADI (MARRIAGE)

Shaadi ki bunyaad do cheezein hain:

1. Nasl e Insaani Ki Baqaa (Surah Al-Nisa'a : 1)
2. Lutf o Sukoon
   
   

Irshad e Baari ta'ala hai " Usney tumhare liye tumhari jins sey biwia'n banaiin taa kay tum unn kay paas sukoon hasil karo aur tumharey darmiyan mohabbat aur ulfat paeda kardi." (Surah Rome: 21)

Shaadi sey na sirf insaan ko sukoon naseeb hota hai bul kay mukhtalif tehqeeqaat sey ma'aloom hua hai kay shaadi shuda afraad ghaer shaadi shuda logon ki nisbat 50 % kam beemariyon ka shikar hotey hain.

Shaadi ki do bari aqsaam hain

1. Mohabbat Ki Shaadi (Love Marriage)
2. Khandaan Ki Taraf Se Taey Ki Gaee Shadi (Arranged Marriage)

1. Mohabbat Ki Shaadi (Love Marriage):

  Europe aur America mein taqreeban har shaadi mohabbat ki shaadi hoti hai jo kay aksar auqaat nakaam hoti hain America mein talaq ki sharah 50% se 75% tak hai. Iss tarah ki talaq ki do bari wajoohaat hain.  Shaadi sey pehley donon afraad apni shakhsiyat ka behetreen pehlu samney latey hain le'haza donon ek doosrey ki khoobiyon sey aagah hotey hain magar shaadi kay baad mehboob kay liye mushkil ho jata hai kay woh apni shakhsiyat ka sirf roshan pehlu hi samney laey iss liye kuch arsey ba'ad mehboob ki shakhsiyat kay taareek pehlu bhi samney aaney lagtey hain kyun kay mehboob ek insaan hai le'haza woh bhi aam insaanon ki tarah khoobiyon aur khamiyon ka majmoo'aa hota hai waisey bhi aankhon sey ishq ki patti utarney kay ba'ad mehboob ki ma'amooli khaamiya'n bhi numaya ho kar nazar aaney lagti hain iss tarah shaadi kay kuch arsey ba'ad mohabbat ka yeh taj mahal dharraam sey zamee'n bos ho jata hai.

2. Khandaan Ki Taraf Se Taey Ki Gaee Shadi (Arranged Marriage):

 Doosri taraf khandaan ki taraf sey taey shuda shaadyion ki nakaami ki sharah bohut hi kam hai humarey apney bohut barey khandaan mein talaq ki sharah 3% sey zyada nahin magar iss tarah ki shaadiyon mein ek qabahat hai kay inn mein amooman larkey larkii ki pasand aur na pasand ka khayal nahin rakha jata hai .(mohabbat aur pasand mein farq hai) jab kay Quran majeed mein irshaad hai kay "Nikah karo jo tumhey pasand aaein, aurton sey do, do aur teen teen aur char char aur agar yeh khauf ho kay insaaf na kar sako gey to ek sey" (Surah Al.Nisa : 3)
 Islam mein shaadi kay liey larki ki razamandi zaroori hai taa'hum iss kay sath wali ki ijazat bhi zaroori hai. Allah kay nabi kareem ka bhi irshaad hai, "Aurton ko unn ki pasand kay shohro'n se nikah karao" (Hakim) Huzoor ney nikah sey pehley aurat ko dekh leney ka hukum diya hai ya kam az kam mashwara diya hai. (Ibn-e-maja, abu daud, tirmazi, muslim, masnad-e-ahmed) Chuna'ncha irshad hai jab tum mein sey koi shakhs kisi aurat ko nikah ka paeghaam dey to usey dekh lena chahiyie kay aaya us mein koi aisi cheez hai jo us ko us aurat sey nikah ki raghbat dilaney wali ho. (abu daud)

  Quran o sunnah donon sey ma'aloom hota hai kay shaadi pasand ki ho, larka larki ko achi tarah dekh ley iss tarah woh larki bhi larkey ko dekh ley gi magar donon ko alaehda milney ki ijazat nahin. (mishkaa't)
Hazrat Muhammad kay iss hukum ya sifarish kay larka, larki ko dekh leney ki hikmat ab jadeed nafsiyat kay ilm ki roshni mein waa'zeh tor per samajh mein aati hai . Tamam mahireen iss baat per muttafiq hain kay mard aurat ko us kay husn, zahiri shakl o surat aur jismani saakht ki wajah sey pasand karta hai taa'hum har fard ka husn ka mayar mukhtalif hota hai. Jab kay aurat zahiri husn aur shakl o surat ko zyada ahmiyat nahin deti bul kay aurton kay liye mard ka paesha aur mua'asharti maqam (status) shaadi mein markazi kirdaar ada karta hai. Le'haza agar larka larki ko dekhna chahey to iss per nabi ka hukum samajh kar amal kiya jaey aur larkey ko larki dekhney ka moqa'a diya jaey, humarey haan ajeeb munafiqat hai, larkiyaan sara din bazaron mein bey parda phirti hain aur unko har koi dekhta hai magar jab mangetar larki ko dekhney ki khwahish ka izhar karey to amooman isey ghaer akhlaqi harkat qarar dey kar inkaar kar diya jata hai. Iss kay elawa sharee'at nikah kay muamley mein kifayat (humsari aur barabri) ko malhuz e khatir rakhna pasand karti hai yani nikah apney baraber aur hum palla logon mein ho donon khandaani, nasli, qaumi, maali aaur mua'asharti lehaz se baraber hun. Donon ek qabeeley se hun ya mukhtalif qabeelon se magar phir bhi hum palla hun. Jadeed nafsiyat bhi ab iss usool ki ahmiyat ko tasleem karti hai yani hum amooman unn logon ko pasand kartey hain jo humari tarah hun khusoosun nasal, qaum, mua'ashi aur mua'asharti maqam kay lehaz sey zahir hai shaadi pasand kay logon kay sath hi ki jati hai.

Khandaani nazm-O-zabt:

khandani nazm-o-zabt ko barqaraar rakhney kay liye mia'n biwi mein sey ek ka sarbaraah hona zaroori hai agar donon bilkul masawi darja aur ikhtiyaraat rakhtey hun to khandaan badnazmii ka shikar ho jaey ga, chuna'ncha irshad-e-Rabbani hai: "Mard aurton per qawam (hakim) hain iss bina per kay Allah ney ek ko doosrey per fazeelat dii hai aur iss bina per kay woh apney amwaal kharch kartey hain pus jo naek aurtein hain woh shohro'n ki ita'at karney wali aur unki ghaer mojoodgi mein ba toufeeq-e-Ilahi unn kay huqooq ki hifazat karney wali hoti hain" (Surah Al.Nisa : 34) yani Allah ney mard ko aurton per qawam qarar diya hai. Qawam se muraad hai Provider Sustainer muhafiz, sarbarahkaar, sarbaraahi kay liye mard hi munasib hai., jo jismani lehaz se aurat se tawana hai, jo masa'il ko hul karney ki fitri salahiyat rakhta hai. Iss kay dimagh ka wazan ausatan aurat se 5 ounce zyada hai yani amooman mard jismani aur zehni lehaz se nisbatan afzal hai. Isi liye khandaan ki sarbaraahi isey sounpi gaii hai kay woh khandaan ko tahaffuz dey aur uski tamam zarooriyat ko poora karey aur khandaan ki kifalat karey lehaza ghar mein hukum bhi usi ka chaley ga.
Iss paragraph ko parh kar ba'az taraqqi pasand khawateen kahein gi kay ghar per khawand ka hokum chalney ki baat mua'ashrey kay dhakosla hai, haala'n kay yeh aam usool hai kay jo kisi ki kifalat karey ga (ya tunkhwa'h dey ga) hukum bhi usi ka chaley ga, kya kabhi aisa hota hai kay kifalat karney wala apne mulazim ka hukum maaney. Maghrib mein chu'n kay aurat aur mard donon kamatey hain donon provider hain le'haza wahan donon baraber ho saktey hain. America kay ahl e ilm ab yeh baat tasleem kartey hain kay wahan ghar ki barbaadi ki bari wajah khawateen ka job karna hai kyun kay jo bhi biwi kamaey gi uska ravaiyya housewife se bilkul mukhtalif aur amooman jarehana hoga yeh unser bara fitri hai aap ki beti ya beta jab mua'ashi le'haz se aap per inhisaar karta hai to uska ravaiyya aur hota hai magar ju'nhi wo kamana shuru karta hai uska ravaiyya bilkul badal jata hai yeh ek nafsiyati haqeeqat hai. Islam mein chu'n kay kifalat ki zimmeydaari mard per hai le'haza ghar ka woh hi hukmaran hoga aur usi ka hukum chaley ga. Humarey haan ajeeb munafiqat hai kay islam ki jo cheez humari khwahishaat kay khilaf hoti hai, humein pasand nahin hoti hai hum usey moulviyon ka dhakosla keh kar radd kar detey hain. Hum mein itni akhlaqi jurrat nahin kay hum khul kar iska inkaar kar kay mutabadil pasandeeda mazhab ikhtyar kar lein hum musalmaan bhi kehelwana chahtey hain aur islam kay unn usoolon per jo humein pasand nahin amal bhi nahin karna chahtey yaqeen karein inn mein aksaryat unn logon ki hai jo farae'z kay bhi paband nahin.  Ek taraf mard sey farmaya gaya hai kay woh biwi ki kifalat karey aur uss sey acha sulook karey chuna'ncha irshad-e-nabvi hai " tum mein behetreen woh hai jo apni biwiyon kay liye behetreen saabit ho". Doosri taraf aurat se farmaya gaya kay woh khawand ki farma'n bardaari karey aur uski khushi ka khayal rakhey, chuna'ncha Hazrat Abu Omama kehtey hain kay nabi pak ne farmaya kay Khuda ka momin banda khuda sey taqwa kay ba'ad jo cheez sab sey behter apney liye intikhaab karta hai woh naek bakht aurat hai.

Pious Woman In Islam:

Aisi aurat jisko woh jo hukum dey to woh uss per foran amal karey uski taraf dekhey to woh uska dil khush kardey, usko qasam dey to woh qasam ko poora karey aur woh ghayab ho to woh apni asmat aur uss kay maal ki hifazat karey (ibn-e-maja) Hazrat Muhammad ney ek aur moqa per farmaya " Uss zaat ki qasam jis kay qabzey mein meri jaan hai, jo shakhs bhi apni biwi ko bister per bulaey aur woh inkaar karey to Aasmaan wala uss sey uss waqt tak naraz hota hai jab tak woh apney shohar ko razi na karey" (bukhari, muslim) Ek doosri hadees mein irshad hai "shohar jab apni biwi ko apney bister per bulaey aur woh aaney sey inkaar kar dey to farishtey subah tak uss per la'anat kartey rehtey hain." (bukhari) Ek aur jagah irshaad farmaya : "shohar jab apni biwi ko zaroorat kay liye bulaey to woh foran us kay liye hazir ho jaey, go woh tanoor per bethi ho(roti paka rahi ho)" (tirmazi). ALLAH kay nabi ne biwi ko khawand ki ijazat kay baghair nafli namaz aur nafli rozey rakhney sey mana farmaya hai. (bukhari) Hazrat Muhammad ney aurat ko dunya ki behetreen mata'a qarar diya hai, irshaad hai kay sari dunya mata'a hai aur dunya ki behetreen mata'a (Pious Woman) naek bakht aurat hai. (muslim) Pious woman (Naek bakht aurat) ko jannat ki basharat di gaee hai, Hazrat Muhammad ne farmaya kay jo aurat paanch waqt ki namaz parhti rahey, ramazan kay rozey rakhey, apni aabroo bachaey yani paak daaman rahey aur apney shohar ki ta'abedaari aur farma'n bardaari karti rahey to usey ikhtiyar hai kay jis darwazey sey chahey jannat mein chali jaey. Ek aur jagah huzoor ney irshaad farmaya kay jo aurat iss haalat mein mari kay shohar razi tha woh jannat mein daakhil ho gaee, (tirmazi) ta'ahum gunah kay kaam mein aurat khawand ka hukum na maney gi. Aurton ki aksaryat ko apney khawand ki wajah sey mua'ashrey mein buland maqam milta hai maslan doctor ki biwi, aalim ki biwi, ek crore pati ki biwi, ek adeeb ki hatta kay ek wazeer ki biwi waghaira ko mua'ashrey mein jo maqam hasil hota hai iss kay husool mein uska koi khaas kirdaar nahin hota, magar ba'az auqaat ma'amooli sey ikhtilaaf ki wajah sey aurat khawand ki na shukri kar guzarti hai yeh na shukri bohut bara gunah hai. Hazrat Muhammad ney farmaya : meiney aaj (dozakh) ki tarah koi darauni cheez nahin dekhi, meiney dekha iss mein aurtein bohut hain, logon ney arz kya ya rasool Allah iss ki kya wajah hai? Aap ney farmaya : yehi kufr, logon ney arz kya kya Allah sey kfur? Aap ney farmaya : nahin, khawand ka kufr (na shukri) ahsaan na man'na. Aurat ka yeh haal hai kay agar tu umar bhar uss kay sath ahsaan karta rahey phir koi baat tumhari taraf sey unn ki tabyat kay khilaf ho gaee to bol uthey gi kay meiney kabhi bhi tum sey koi behetri nahin dekhi (bukhari). Hazrat Sobaan kehtey hain kay Rasool Allah ney farmaya kay jo aurat bila wajah apney shohar sey talaq chahey, uss per jannat ki bu haram hai. (ibn-e-maja, ahmed, tirmazi, darmi). Hazrat Muhammad ney farmaya kay teen tarah kay aadmi aisey hain jin ki na namaz qabool hoti hai, na koi aur neki manzoor hoti hai, ek wo aurat jis ka shohar uss sey naraz ho, doosra woh jo nashey mein mast ho, teesra woh musalmaan bhai jo ek doosrey ko kisi dunyavi wajah sey chortey hain.(ibn-e-maja) Islam mein mard kay liye sab sey muhatram uski walida hai aur aurat kay liye uska khawand, donon ki narazgi sey bachna chahiyie.

SHAADI K LIYE SAHI UMER

SUITABLE AGE FOR MARRIAGE

Shaadi kay hawaley sey chund cheezon ko malhooz-e-khatir rakhna mufeed hoga aurat kay liye shaadi ki behetreen umar 20 ta 25 saal hai iss doran mein paeda honey wali aulaad sehat mand hoti hai, mard kay liye shaadi kay liye behtarin umar 25 ta 27 saal hai waise 30 saal tak bhi theek hai, behter yeh hai shaadi kay waqt aurat ki umar mard se 5 ta 10 saal choti ho kyun kay bachon ki paedaesh ki wajah sey aurat ka jism jald dhal jata hai jiski wajah sey aurat mein kashish kam ho jati hai, agar biwi ki umar kam hogi to uski jismani kashish zyada der tak barqaraar rahey gi. Waisey bhi aurat jismani aur zehni le'haz sey mard ki nisbat jald mature ho jati hai larki ki umar kisi bhi tarah larkey sey zyada nahin honi chahiyie. Mangni aur shaadi kay darmyan zyada lamba arsa nahin hona chahiyie, zyada sey zyada ek saal ka waqfa ho agar darmyani waqfa zyada lamba ho to donon khusoosan mard shadeed jhunjhalahat ka shikar ho jata hai. Shaadi ki date taey kartey waqt haez (menses) ka bhi zaroor dhayan rakha jaey aisa na ho kay shaadi kay ek aadh din baad maahwaari shuru ho jaey, iss sey khawand shadeed jismani tanau ka shikar hoga le'haza shaadi ki date maahwaari kay 8 din ba'ad ki rakhi jaey taa kay donon mian biwi mubashirat sey bharpoor lutf andoz ho sakein. Haez (menses) kay foran ba'ad aurat kay jinsi jazbaat amooman madh'dham par jatey hain inn dinon iski tabyat mein chirchira pan, afsurdagi aur bey chaeni paeda ho jati hai. Shaadi dhoom dhaam sey honi chahiyie taa kay har kisi kay ilm mein ho kay 'uski' shaadi ho gaee hai. Irshad-e-nabvi hai kay :"Nikah ka ailaan masjid mein karo aur iss per duf peeto (kay khoob ailaan ho)" (tirmazi)
 Islam mein khufya shaadi sey mana kya gaya hai, ba'az fuqha'a kay nazdeek khufya shaadi zina kay baraber hai. Hazrat Muhammad ka irshaad hai kay halal-o-haram mein hadd e faazil nikah ki shuhrat aur duf hai. (tirmazi) Shaadi kartey waqt iss cheez ka bhi dhayan rakha jaey kay donon mian biwi kay qad chotey na hun aisi surat mein usool e wirasat kay mutabiq aksar bachon kay qad chotey honge jis ki wajah sey yeh bachay ehsaas e kamtari ka shikar ho jaengey aur bachiyon ki shadiyon mein masa'il paeda hongay, yani donon mein sey ek ka qad laziman lamba hona chahiyie. Iss tarah donon mian biwi kay rung bhi zyada sa'nwley nahin honey chiahiyien iss surat mein bhi usool-e-wirasat kay tehet aksar bachon kay rung sa'nwley hongey aur yeh becharey ehsaas-e-kamtari mein mubtala ho jaeingey mazeed bar aa'n larkiyon ki shaadi mein diqqat paesh aaegi chuna'ncha behter yahi hai kay mian biwi mein sey ek ka rung zaroor gora hona chahiyie.

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Sher-O-shairi (Poetry), urdu Ghazals

kuch ishq tha kuch majboori thi

wO subha thi guzar gai, mein sham tha dhal gaya..

wO subha thi guzar gai, mein sham tha dhal gaya..
.
wO nazar thi jhuk gai, mein tehreer tha mit gya,
.
wO shama thi pighal gai, Mein dard tha seh gaya
.
wO chand thi chup gai, mein badal tha baras gya
.
wO tOfan thi guzar gai, mein Gulshan tha bikhar gya
.
wO rOoh thi nikal gai mein jism tha khak ban gya,
.
wO khusboO thi ur gai mein phOol tha murjha gya
.
bus wO sub kuch thi chali gai main tanha tha tanha reh gya...!!!

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Hazaron gham mere seenay main chupay hain lakin

bOl Hawa Us Paar Zamanay Kaise Hain..?

bOl Hawa Us Paar Zamanay Kaise Hain..?
Ujray Shehar Men Yaar Puranay Kaise Hain..?
.
Chand Utarta Hai Ab Kis Kis Aangan Mein..?
KirnO Se MehroOm Gharanay Kaisy Hain..?
.
Lab Basta DarwazOn Py Kia Beet Gai..?
GaliyO'n Sy MansOob Afsaney Kaise Hain..?
.
Jin K Juhrmat Mien Shamien Dam tOrr Gaeen,
wO Pyary,Pagal,Parwanay Kaise Hain,,?
.
MOHSIN Hum tO Khair Khabar Sy Bhi Guzar Gaye,
Apnay masrOof dOst Na Janay Kaise Hain...???

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Mujhay nahi yaad main ne kisi ka dil tora ho

main tO dunia kO jeet chuka hOon

main tO dunia kO jeet chuka hOon ~*SaGaR*~
ye kambakht taqdeer mujh se harai nahi jati...!!!

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Ajeeb khail hai matti se banay logon ka

jab gharz hui tab pyar kiya

jab gharz hui tab pyar kiya, jab waqt mila tab yaad kiya...!!!
 Ab Or haqeeqat kia likhun is dOur k mukhlis yaarOn ki...!!!

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Aadhi raat k sannatay main

Chup Chup Rehna Seekh Liya Hai

Chup Chup Rehna Seekh Liya Hai,
Har Dukh Sehna Seekh Liya Hai,
.
Ashkon Ki MojOn Ne Dil K
Andar Behna Seekh Liya Hai,
.
Pathar Jese LogOn kO Bhi
Acha Kehna Seekh Liya Hai,
.
Jeevan Ki Tapti RaahOn Par,
Tanha Chalna Seekh Liya Hai,
.
Apna Dard Chupa Kar Sub Se,
Tanha rehna Seekh Liya Hai…!!!

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Apny kirdar ka mayar samajh lete hain

mitt jaye gunahOn ka tasawwur hi jahan se

mitt jaye gunahOn ka tasawwur hi jahan se ~*aay Insan*~
agar hO jaye yeh yaqeen kay ALLAH dekh raha hai...!!!

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Har koi dil ki hatheli pe hai sehra rakhay

Apni KhamOsh Zindagi Main bOlana Mujh kO

Apni KhamOsh Zindagi Main bOlana Mujh kO
.
Apnay Haseen khOwab Ki Tasveer Banana Mujh kO
.
Main jO PuchO Tumhara Haal -e- DIL
.
Tu Apni Har Dharkan Ki Aawaz Sunana Mujh kO
.
Main jO Kabhi Routh JaOn Tum Say Ager
.
Tu bOhat Pyaar Say Manana Mujh kO
.
jO Kabhi hO DIL Main Hasrat Tumhari kOi
.
Bila Jhijhak Apni Har Hasrat Batana Mujh kO
.
jO hO JaO ZINDAGI Main Tanha Kesi Pal
.
Apni Pyaar Bhari Aawaz Say Bulana Mujh kO...!!!

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Barish Or hum

PoOcha jo unse Chaand nikalta hai kis tarha

PoOcha jo unse Chaand nikalta hai kis tarha ~*SaGaR*~
.
 ZulfOn kO Rukh pe daal k jhatka dia k yun...!!!


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Tanhai

Ik rOz juda hO jaun ga

Ik rOz juda hO jaun ga, na jane kahan khO jaun ga
.
tum lakh pukarO ge mjh kO,phr lOt k mn na aaun ga.
.
tum aatay jaty cherOn men jb chra mera na paaO ge,
.
thak haar kr din k kaamon se jb raat kO sOny jaO ge.
.
dekhO ge jb inbOx kO tO pegam mera na paaO ge,
.
tb yaad tmhe mn aaOn ga phr lOt k mn na aaun ga,
.
ik din ye rshta chOotay ga dil itna ziada toOtay ga.
.
phr kOi na hm se rOothay ga aur mn na aankhn kholun ga.
.
aakhir us dn tm roO dO ge aur aik acha dOst khO dO ge.

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Mujhy manzilon se ziada aziz

sirf aik bar apne hOntOn se

sirf aik bar apne hOntOn se mujhay apna keh dO ~*SaGaR*~
phir mehfil main raqibOn ka tamasha dekhna...!!! ♥


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kaliyon ki mehek hota

Ajeeb zulm huay hain is duniya

Ajeeb zulm huay hain is duniya main mOhabbat par ~*SaGaR*~
 jinhain mili unhain qadar nahi or jinhain qadar thi unhain milli nahi...!!!

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zameer jaag tO jata hy, agar zinda hO

zameer jaag tO jata hy, agar zinda hO ~*Iqbal*~
kabi gunah se pehlay, kabi gunah k baad....!!!

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EID un ki guzri jin kO deedar-e-yar naseeb hua

EID un ki guzri jin kO deedar-e-yar naseeb hua ~*SaGaR*~
humari tO EID guzar gai zikar-e-yar karty karty...!!!


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ulfatt-e-dOsti main khuda say Or kia mangOon

ulfatt-e-dOsti main khuda say Or kia mangOon ~*SaGaR*~
bas dua hy k mery dOst ALLAH k siwa kisi k mOhtaj na hOn...!!! Aameen

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bOl dO dil ki bat hum tera raaz rakhein ge

bOl dO dil ki bat hum tera raaz rakhein ge...
.
Keh dO aaj hr ik baat hum tera raaz rkhein ge...
.
Tum kO hum se chahat he ya nafrat kiya pta...
.
Kr dO apne jazbat ka izhar hum tera raaz rkhein ge...
.
Mat smjna k tum kO ruswa krein ge zamane mein...
.
Qasam hy hum kO teri yar hum tera raaz rakhein ge…!!!

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Tum aaO tO ham b Eid Karein

Tum aaO tO ham b Eid Karein...
.
Hasrat Hai Tumhari Deed Karein...
.
Kuch Dair tO Dil kO Chain Miley...
.
Kuch rOz tO Mun K PhOol Khiley...
.
Tum AaO tO Ham Bhi Eid Karein...
.
Tum Se Yeh Aik Guzaarish Hai...
.
Yeh Apney Dil Ki Khuwahish Hai
.
Ik Baar MilO , Ik Baar MilO,
.
Har Baar Yahi Taakeed Karein...!!!

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kuch us kO b aziz thy apnay karak usOol

kuch us kO b aziz thy apnay karak usOol ~*SaGaR*~
Or hum bhi ittifaq say zid k mareez thay...!!!

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Taskeen na hO jis se wO raaz badal dalO...

Taskeen na hO jis se wO raaz badal dalO...
JO raaz na rakh paye hamraaz badal dalO...

Tum ne b suni hO gi bari aam kahawat hy
Anjam ka jO hO khatra aghaz badal dalO...

Pur-sOz dilOn kO jO muskan na de paye
Sur hi na mile jis mai wO saaz badal dalO...

Dushman k iradon kO hy zahir agar karna
Tum khel wOhi khelO andaz badal dalO...

Ay dOst karO himat kuch doOr sawera hy
Agar chahte hO manzil tu parwaaz badal dalO…!!!

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Tark-e-rasm-e-dOsti hargiz mera

Tark-e-rasm-e-dOsti hargiz mera masla na tha ~*SaGaR*~
Ittifaqan dOstOn se raabtey kam hO gaye...!!!


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ab k electiOn tO main hi jeetoOn ga

ab k electiOn tO main hi jeetoOn ga Faraz..
teri aankhOn kO inttkhaabi nishan rakha hai... :)


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Mizaaj Barham Khafa Sa Lehja

Mizaaj Barham Khafa Sa Lehja,
Udaas Chehra Naraaz Ankhain,
Waja jO pOochi Mein Ne Us Se,
Jaan Meri Udaas Kyun hO,
Kyun hO Barham Naraaz Kyun hO,
Bhar K Ucchli Ankhain Uski,
Larkhara Kr Galay Se Lag Kr,
Mujh Se bOli,
Kahan Gaye Thay Kyun Gaye Thay,
Mujhy BtaO,
Tumhary Bin jO Bebasi Thi,
Elaaj Us Ka Btaa K Jaty,
Tum jO BicchrO Kahan Mein DhOondun,
Suraagh Apna Bata K Jaty,
Tumhain Pta Tha Tmhary Bin Mein,
Eik Pal Bhi Reh Nai Sakti,
Chahay Bicchray Duniya Sari,
Teri Judai Seh Nai Sakti,
Tmhain Qasam Hai Ab Na Jana,
Mar JaOn Gi Tmhary Bin Mein,
ChalO Ab Mujh Se Wada Kr LO,
Kahin Bhi JaO Kabi Bhi JaO,
 Sath Mujh kO Lay K Jana,
Phir Se Mujh kO Saza Na Daina,
Tmhain Qasam Hai Tmhain Qasam Hai.....!!!


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Zara si dair december ki dhoOp mein bethen

Zara si dair december ki dhoOp mein bethen ~*SaGaR*~
Yeh furstain humain shayed na agley saal milain...!!!

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Main Ghalib-O-faRaz nahi jO biyaan karoOn

Main Ghalib-O-faRaz nahi jO biyaan karoOn lafzOn main... ('','')
Kahan alfaz ka wazan, kahan mere yaar ka husssn...!!!

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Aaj tafseel nahi bas itna sunO...

Aaj tafseel nahi bas itna sunO...
 bOhat aaj yaad aa rahay hO tum...!!!


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Meri AankhOn kO sOojhta Hee Nahi

Meri AankhOn kO sOojhta Hee Nahi
Ya Muqaddar Mein Raasta Hee Nahi...!!!

wO Bharay Sheher Mein Kisi Se Bhi
Mere Baaray Mein pOochta Hee Nahi...!!!

Phir wOhi Shaam Hai wOhi Ham Hain
Haan Magar Dil Mein hOnsla Hee Nahi...!!!

Ham Chalay us Ki Bazm Se Uth Kar
Aur wO Hai Ke Rokta Hee Nahi...!!!

Dil jO Ek dOst Tha Magar wO Bhi
Chup Ka Pathar Hai Bolta Hee Nahi...!!!

Mein tOu Os Ki Talaash Mein Guum Hun
wO Kubhi Mujh kO dhoOndta Hee Nahi...!!!

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Yeh SangdilOn ki duniya hai yahan sunta nahi fariyad kOi

Yeh SangdilOn ki duniya hai yahan sunta nahi fariyad kOi,
Yahan hastey hain lOg jab bhi hOta hai barbaad kOi...!!!


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KHAWATEEN K JINSI MUGHALTAY (FEMALE SEXUAL MISCONCEPTION))

KHAWATEEN K JINSI MUGHALTAY

(FEMALE SEXUAL MISCONCEPTION))

Mardon ki tarah aurtein bhi bohut sey jinsi maghaliton (sexual misconceptions) ka shikar hain jo inki azdwajii khushyion mein bohut bari rukawat sabit hote hain. Azdwajii khushyion kay liye khawateen ko na sirf apney bul kay mardon kay jinsi mughaliton ka zikar lya jaey (in mughaliton ka tafseeli zikar humari doosri kitab "Sex Education…Sab Kay Liye" mein mojood hai iss hawaley sey iss kitab ka muta'alla mufeed rahey ga).

KHAWATEEN K KUCH EHEM JINSI MUGHALTAY

1. MAHWAARI (MENSES):

Ye haez (menses) amooman takleef deh cheez nahin aksar khawateen ki maahwaari bilkul normal hoti hai aur unhein koi khaas takleef nahin hoti albatta kuch khawateen maahwaari kay dauraan kamar dard, sar dard aur paet dard waghaera mehsoos karti hain, maahwaari ka aana kisi bhi larki kay liye kisi bhi tarah tashweesh ka baa'iss nahin hona chahiyie, larki ko ba'khoobi samajh lena chahiyie kay yeh ek fitri jismaani amal hai.
NOTE: Mahwaari bund honay per aurat ki jinsi khwahish khatam nahin ho jati bul kay aurat aakhri saans tak sex sey lutf andoz ho sakti hai.

2. MUBASHRAT (INTERCOURSE):

Koi buri cheez nahin aur na hi yeh ek takleef deh amar hai agarcha ba'az khawateen ko ibtida mein chund baar mubashrat mein qadrey takleef hoti hai taa'hum baad mein yeh amal normal ho jata hai mubashrat ka amal na sirf naeki aur sadqa hai bul kay donon kay liye bohut hi pur lutf amal hai.
NOTE: Mubashrat mein aurat ka har baar Orgasm (intiha e lazzat) hasil karma zaroori nahin bohut si aurtein har baar orgasm hasil nahin kartiin magar unki azdwajii zindagi bohut khushgawar hoti hai. Jinsi lutf aur bachay ki paedaesh kay liye mubashrat mein donon mian biwi ka ba'yak waqt orgasm hasil karna zaroori nahin. 

3. KASRAT-E-MUBASHRAT (FREQUENT INTERCOURSE):

Kasrat-e-mubashrat  aurat ki sehat kay liye nuqsan deh nahin chahey yeh kitni hi baar kyun na ki jaey, orgasm aurat ki sehat kay liye mufeed hai.

4. LEUCORRHEA:

koi beemari nahin aur na hi iss ka ilaaj karane ki zaroorat hai albatta agar pani ka ikhraaj bohut zyada hoga, gaarha ya badboodaar ho to yeh amooman faraj (vagina) ki infection ki wajah sey hota hai.

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HAPPY HOME LIFE (KHUSHGAWAR GHARELU ZINDAGI)

HAPPY HOME LIFE

Khushgawar shadi denvi jannaat hai aur naa khushgawar jahanum. Khushgawar aur kamiyab shadi immune system ko strong karti hai. Jiski wajah sey insan bemariyun ka behtar tor per muqabla kar sakta hai. Isey general health behtar aur umar lambi hoti hai. Naa khushgawar shadi demaghi system ko kamzor karti hai jiski wajah sey insan 35% bemariyun ka ziyada shikar hota hai. General health kharab hoti hai, umar 4 year lisss hojaati hai. Naa khushgawar shadi stress, tension, Depression, anxiety, heart diseases, high BP, suicide, pagalpan aur bohut si doosri bemariyun ka sabab banti hai. Naa khushgawar shadi naa sirf mian biwi bul kay bachun ko bhi buri tarhan muta'assir karti hai. Bachey aggression aur doosri physical aur nafsiyaati bemariyun ka shikar honay kay elawa education mein bohut peechey reh jatey hain. Isi liye mahireen ka khayal hai kay "pur sukoon divorce, kharab aur naa khushgawar shadi sey behtar hai". Khushgawar zindagi kay chath usul hain. Agar en per amal kiya jaey to inshaAllah ghar jannaat ban jaeyga. Kyun kay yeh book mardon kay hawaley sey likhi gai hai lehaza ab ham kuch aisey tareeqey baateingai jin ki madadsey mard ghar ko khush gawar banaanay mein apnaa effective kirdar ada kar sakayga. Waisey bhi khushgawar gharelu zindagi mein mian ka role ahem aur bunyadi hai.

TIP OF HAPPY HOME LIFE

Shadi kabhi khud bakhud khushgawar nahi banaey gi. Iss kay liye aapko shaori koshish aur planning karni hogi. Aap aj sey tai karleyn kay aap nay ghar ko jannat ka namoona banana hai, phir iss kay liye bharpoor koshish karian, InshaAlllah apka ghar jannat ka tokra ban jaeyga.
Ek baat zehen mein rakhein kay aap ki biwi apki photocopy nahi hai bul kay woh aap sey mukhtalif hai. Iss ki pasand naa pasand aur hobbies aap sey mukhtalif hongi. Iss sey yeh tawaqqa naa karein kay woh apki tarhan ho, aap ki tarhan sochey. Iss ko badalney ki koshish naa karein. Iss ko isi tarhan qubool karlein.
Duniya mein koi insan bhi complete nahi. Aap bhi mukammal nahi. Apki biwi mein 10 khamiyan hungi to 10 khoobiya bhi hungi. Aap jis sey shadi karein gey woh mukammal naa hogi. Iss mein bhi zaror koi naa koi kami hogi. Lehaza apni biwi ko bataein kay apney isey khushi kay saath qubul kar liye hai.
Har insan khoobiyun aur khamiyun ka combination hota hai. Agar issmein 5 khamiyan hain to 5 khoobiyan bhi zaroori hoti hain. Aap ki biwi bhi khamiyun aur khoobiyun ka majmoa hai. Aap iss ki khamiyu kay bajaey iss ki khoobiyun per naazar rakhain. Iss ki khoobiyan talash karein chahey woh kitni hi mamoli kyun naa ho.
Apni biwi ki khoobiyan ko attractive banay isskay liye yeh mushq mufeed rahaigi.

KHUSGAWAR ZINDAGI KAY RAAZ

1. PEHLA TAREEQA:

• Kisi pursukoon jagah beth jaeyn. Leyt bhi saktey hain. Eye band karleyn. 5 Lambai sans leyn.
• Biwi ki khoobiyun kay barai mein sochain, aap kay demagh mein en khoobiyun kay saath biwi ki picture ban jaeygi. Iss picture ko dekh kar aapko acha mehsoos hoga.
• Ab picture ko rangeeb karein, ziyada clear karein, roshan kardein, big aur kareeb ley ain, apkay achai ehsaasat mein ezafa hoga.

2. DUSRA TREEQA:

• Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. Body ko relax karian. Eyes band karein, lambai sans leyn.
• Iss ki kisi aisi adat kay barai mein sochain jo aapko bohut disturb karti hai. Aap kay demagh mein isski picture ban jaeygi.
• Ab aap apney aapko picture mein lamba karein. Jaisey jaeysa aap ooper jaeyngai woh picture apsey door hoti jaeygi. Dull aur unclear hojaeygi aur aap ko ziyada disturb nahi kareygi.
• Ab apney aap ko mazeed lamba karleyn. Ab woh picture bilkul hi duur aur unclear hojaeygi. Mumkin hai kay aapko dot maloom ho. Ab woh aapko bilkul disturb nahi kareygi. Thori der iss ko dekhtey rahein. Ab aap ki nazron mein iss ki ahmiyat khatam ya bohut kam ho jaey gi. Yani paharr raee ban jaey ga.
• Ab doobara biwi ki iss adat kay barey mein sochein. Ab iss ki woh aadat aap ko disturb nahi karey gi. InshaAllah aa'enda zindagi mein biwi ka yeh rawaiyya aap ko disturb nahi karey ga.Agli mushq bhi isi kam kay liye useful hai.

3. TEESRA TAREEQA:

• Eyes band kar kay aaram sey beth jaein. 3 lambey saans leyn. Nose sey leyn aur mouth sey kharij karein.
• Biwi ki naa pasandeeda adat kay barai mein sochain. Apkay mind mein iss ki picture ban jaeygi. Picture ko ghoor sey dekhain aur apney naa pasandeeda ehsaasat ko note karein. Zahir hai kay aapko bohut bura lag raha hoga.
• Ab iss picture ko black and white kardein. Unclear aur dim kardein. Chota kardein, door ley jaeyn. Picture ki jagah badal dein. Agar yeh picture bilkul apkay saamney ban rahey hai to issko bae'in (left) dae'in (right) yeh ooper neechey ley ja kar dekhain yahan tak kay burai ehsaasat khatam hojaeyn yeh bohut kam hojaey. Iss mushq ko 2 times karein. Ab biwi ki woh adat aapko pahli ki tarhan disturb nahi kareygi.
• Insan fitri tor per chata hai kay iss ki tareef ho. Lehaza biwi ki tareef karein. Khas tor per logon kay samney iss ki khoobiyun ka zikar karein. Logon kay saamney tareef karna 3 time ziyada effective hota hai. Yeh tareef apki biwi ko bah pannah khushi dey gi. Iss kay badley mein woh bhi aapko khushi deynay ki koshish kareygi.
• Mian biwi paper per ek doosrey ki khususiyat likhain maslan "mujhey apka dhema pan pasand hai". "Aap mera bohut khayal rakhti hain". Phir paper change karleyn. Isey apkay ta'alluqat mein khushgawar tabdeli ajaeygi.
• Khushgawar zindagi ki buniyad gahri dosti aur mushtarka hobby hai. Aap apni biwi ki dilchaspiyun sey lutfandoz hun chahey woh apsey mukhtalif hun.
• Ham dosrai logon ko ezzat-o-ahtram deytai hain. Aap ki biwi iss cheez ki ziyada haqdar hai kay aap isey ezat aur ahtram dein khas tor per bachun aur logon kay saamney, biwi ki rai ka ahtram karein woh apka ahtram kareygi.
• Biwi ko importance dein ghar kay mamlat mein iss sey mashwara karein. Har insan ko importance milnay sey khushi aur sukoon milta hai. Yeh khushi aur sukoon ghar ko bhi khushgawar aur pursukoon banaa deta hai.
• Har insan khas tor per khawateen tareef ko pasand karti hain. Biwi ki tareef karein isskay lebaz, shakal surat, jism, kisi khas organ ki tareef karein. Iss ko baatein kay woh bohut khoobsorat hai. Har aurat ki koi naa koi cheez zaror khoobsurat hoti hai maslan baal, eyes, skin, drisss etc. Rozanaa kam az kam 3 times zoror biwi ki tareef karein, logon kay saamney tareef karna 3 times ziyada effective hota hai.
• Biwi kay kamo aur khidmat jo woh ghar kay liye anjam dey rahi hain enka aitraf karein aur inki tareef karein. Isey koi acha kam kartey dekhain aur phir isski khoob dil khool kar tareef karein. Aa'enda woh mazeed achai kam kareygi. Isey baatein kay isski wajah sey ghar ka system shandaar tareeqey sey chal raha hai. Aur ghar jannat ka namoona hai.
• Biwi ko kabhi kabhi surprise dein. Issko achanaak khanaa, yeh ghumnay kay liye bahir ley jaeyn. Iss sey iss ko bey panah khushi miley gi. Yeh khushi poorey ghar ko effect karey gi.
• Biwi kay saath mahmanoo jaeysa sulook karein. Agar mahmaan apkayyeha umbraella bhool jaeyn to aap kabhi mahmaan per negaative comments nahi karein gey. Iss tarhan woh carpet kharab kardey (tea gradey) to apka behaviour kaysa hoga. Zahir hai kay aap kahein gey kay koi baat nahi. Biwi iss behaviour ki ziyada haqdaar hai.
• Biwi ko biwi samajhnay kay sath sath aap yeh bhi sochain kay woh apkay bachun ki maa hai. Aap apni biwi kay saath kis kisim ka sulook pasand karein gey. Wohi sulook apney bachun ki maa kay saath karein. Iss sey ghar ka mahool bohut pursukoon hoga.
• Biwi kay saath wohi behaviour karein jo aap apney saath chaatey hain. Hadees hai kay "Banda iss waqt tak momin nahi ho sakta jab tak woh apney bhai kay liye woh pasand naa karein jo woh apney liye pasand karey". (Bukhari, Muslim).
• Aurat, aurat sey hasad karti hai. Biwi kay saamney doosri aurton ka zikar naa karein. Inki tareef naa karein. Biwi ka doosri aurton, khas tor per apni maa aur sister kay saath comparrision naa karein.
• Apney susral walon ki ezzat aur ehtram karein. Apney saas susar ko wohi maqam dein jo apney parents ko deytai hain. Hadees hai kay "Mard kay 3 baap hotey hai ek woh jisnay isey paida kara, doosra woh jisnay isey taleem di, teesra jisnay isey beti de". Susrali rishtaidaron sey acha sulook karkay aap apni biwi ka dil jeet leyngai. Phir woh bhi apkay relaative kay saath behtar aura cha sulook kareygi.
• Biwi per tanqeed naa karein. Sakt nukta cheni naa karein. Khas tor per bachun aur doosrey logon kay saamney hargiz tanqeed naa karein. Har tanqeed nuqsan deh hoti hai chahey woh tameeri hi kyun naa ho. Tanqeed sey kuch hasil nahi hota. Agar tanqeed karna bohut zaroori hai to tanqeed sey pehley iss ki 3 cheezon ki tareef karein phir sukoon kay saath tanqeed karein. Tanqeed hamesha alaehdgi mein ki jaey. Iss kay bajaey isskay kam per tanqeed karein.
• ALLAH ke nabi Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne kisi bhi insan ki toheen tazheek karne, lanaat malamat karne aur mazaq urane sey sakhti sey manaa farmaya hai, biwi iss cheez ki zada haqdaar hai ke isski toheen naa ki jaye.
• Biwi ki gheebaat naa karein. Yeh bohut bara gunah hai. Apne murdah bhai ka gosht khaney kay baraber hai. Khas tor par apne parents kay saamney biwi ki burai naa karein. Iss ke khilaf baat naa sunayn bulkey uss ko defend karein. Yeh nayki hai.
• Biwi ki khamiyan talash naa karein. Allah aur uske Rasool Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne iss sey sakhti sey manaa kiya hai. Har insan mein khamiyan mojood hoti hain, aap bhi khamiyon sey paak nahi.
• Biwi sey shikayat karein, us ko ilzam naa dein. Shikayat bhi aleydgi mein karein. Biwi kw bajaey iss ke kam par tanqeed karein. Maslan agar salan kharab tha to us ko baatein kay aj salan pehle ki tarah acha nahi tha, yeh naa kahen ke tumhain khana pakana hi nahi aata. Kam par tanqeed karte waqt lehja soft rakhen. Baat start karne sey pahle ek lamba sans len phir sukoon sey baat karein. Shikayat aur apne jazbaat ka izhar karne ke liye "aap" aur "mein" ka word use karein. "Aap hamissha late ate hain" ke bajaey yeh kahen kay "Jab aap zara late ate hain to mein pareshan aur fikarmand ho jata hun. Iss sentence mein tanqeed nahi hai.
• Duniya mein har insan sey ghulltiyan hoti hain. Aap ki biwi sey bhi hungi aur aap sey bhi. Biwi ko isski ghulltiyon par issharatan mutawaja karein.
• Biwi kay character par shak naa karein. Yeh gunah hai, haan, agar yeh proof ho jaye kay isska character kharab hai to phir suitable karwai karein. Apnaa character bhi theek rakhen.
• Biwi sey yeh expect naa karein ke woh aap ke mind ko read kar legi, aap ke jazbaat ko jaan legi. Maslan issko pata chull jayega ke aap ki tabiyat kissi hai? Aap kiya chahte hain? lihaza issko khul kar baatein, izhaar karein, baat karein. Baat bilkul clear aur direct ho. 
• Har insan chahta hai kay isski mistakiss par issko maaf kar diya jaye. Maaf karna sunnaat hai. Allah ko pasand hai. Quran mein irshad hai: "Logon ko maaf karo takay mein tumhen maaf karon" lihaza sunnaat par amal karte howe apne liye apni biwi ko maaf kar den takay Allah aap par rehem karey.
• Islam mein sakht naafarmani par biwi ko marne ki ejazat hai magar mu'nh par marne sey sakhti sey manaa kiya gaya hai. Marne ke liye bahane naa dhundne sey bhi sakhti sey manaa kiya gaya hai.
• Biwi kay hawaley sey apnaa ghussa collect naa karein. Yeh aap ki health ko effect karega. Aleydgi mein biwi sey apne ghussey ka izhar karein. Iss waqt tak baat naa karein jab tak aap pursukoon naa ho jayen. Agar woh mazrat kar le to qubool karlen. Allah kay nabi Hazrat Muhammad(P.B.U.H.) ne mazrat qubool naa karne sey sakhti sey manaa kiya hai. Darguzar sey kam len. Ghussa khatam karne ke liye biwi ko ghssey sey bhara ek letter likhen, jo kehnaa chahte hain, kahain, issko ek bar read karlen aur phir phar kar phaink den. Letter biwi ko naa dein. Aap pursukoon ho jayege. Behtar yeh hai kay ghussey ka directly izhaar naa karein. Iss sey aap ke relaations improve hunge. Aap iss Tareeqey sey bhi ghussa nikal kar relax ho sakte hain.

4. CHOUTHA TAREEQA:

Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. 10 mints mein ek ghussey sey bhara letter likayn. Iss mein woh sab baatein likhen jo aap kehnaa chahte hain (letter biwi ko denaa nahi hai).
Phir biwi ki taraf sey 3 minutes mein letter ka reply karein. Jis mein mian ka apne jazbaat ke izhar ka shukriya ada kiya jaye. Biwi naa sirf apni ghalti maan le bul kay mazrat bhi karey.
Ab 2 minute kay ander iss letter ka jawab likhen jis mein aap likhen ke aap ne biwi ko maaf kar diya hai. Jisse hi yeh warzish complete hogi. aap relax ho jayege.
Ghussey ke jazbaat ko bhi iss warzish sey control kiya ja sakta hai.
Aram sey kisi jagah beth jaeyn. Leyt bhi sakte hain. Eyes close karlen. Boby ko relax karein. 3 deep breaths len.
Ab imagination mein biwi kay upar sara ghussa utar den. Jo kehnaa chahte hain, kahen. Jo kuch karna chahte hain karein. Koi aap ko rokne wala ya us ko bachane wala nahi. Yehan tak ke aap chilla bhi sakte hain. Iss sorat mein aap room mein akele hun. Aap jald hi relax ho jayege.
Mian biwi mein kabhi naa kabhi to takar aur larai ho jaati hai. Aisi surat mein larai ke bech mein gap karlen. Topic change kar den. Behtar hai ke larai ki jaga sey dur chulle jaen. Larte waqt hamesha haal mein rahen. Mazi ki baaton ko naee larai mein shamil naa karein. Yeh naa kahen ke uss ney past mein yeh baat kahi thi ya ki thi.
Duniya mein har insan sey ghalti hoti hai. Agar aap sey ghalti ho jaye to ghalti maan len. Sirf brave log hi ghalti mante hain. Brave banayn, ghalti ke aiteraf sey naa sirf ghar ka mahol behtar hota hai bul kay dosron kay dil mein aap ke liye izat-o-ahteram mein izafa hota hai.
Biwi ke liye iss tarah kay words "hamissha ya kabhi nahi" kabhi use naa karein. Yeh hullaat ko kharab karte hain. Maslan agar biwi ne ek din shoiss polish nahi kiye to yeh naa kahen ke aap kabhi shoiss polish nahi karten. Ya aap khanaa hamissha deyr sey deti hain.
Biwi ki burai naa karein. Khas tor par logon ke saamney us ko bura naa kahen. Bura kehne ke bajaey yeh dekhain ke jo kuch ho raha hai iss ke reasons kiya hain phir en ko control karein.
Biwi ko bar bar acha kahen. Iss ki mamooli achi baat ki bhi tareef karein. Acha kah kar issko acha bannay ka moqa den. Kisi ko bura keh kar aap iss ke acha banay kay doors band kar dete hain. Biwi ko wesa hi samajh kar sulook karein jissa aap chahte hain ke woh ho. Woh waisi hi ho jayegi.
Biwi ki khamiyun ko khobiyun mein badal kar bayan karein. Maslan us ko budhu ya bewaqoof kehnay ke bajaey bholi aur sedhi kahain.
Ek dosre se dor jane kay bajaey ek dosre ke qareeb aen. Ek dosre ki sohbaat sey lutfandoz hun. Daily kuch hours mil kar kaam karen. Newspaper ek saath parhen. News par ek dosre ki pasand kay comments karen. Tv ek saath dekhain. Walk aur Shopping mil kar karein. Common hobby sey donon mil kar enjoy karein. Ek research sey maloom hua hai kay kamiyab aur khushgawar shadi (successful marriage life) mein mian biwi ek doosrey kay barey mein ziyada knowledge rakhtey hain. Ek doosrey ki pasand naa-pasand jantey hain. Aap ko pata ho kay aap ki biwi ki hobby kya hai. Iss ko kya cheez pasand hai. Iss ki friends kon si hain. Iss ki birthday kab hai. Shadi (marriage) ke initial days mein hi ek dosre ko achi tarah jaan len. Jitnaa aap ek dosre ko ziyada janay ge itne hi relationship strong aur deep hongey. Yeh knowledge hasil karney kay liye biwi sey sawal karein.
Shadi (marriage) ki base mohabbat hai. Biwi sey naa sirf mohabbat karein bul kay iss ka zaban sey izhar bhi karein. Daily kam sey kam 3 times mohabbat ka izhar karein. Iss ko phone kar kay bataein kay aap iss sey mohabbat kartey hain. Biwi kay pasandeeda tareeqey sey izhar-e-mohabbat karein. Yeh cheez biwi ko mubashrat (intercourse) sey bhi ziyada pasand hai. Iss ko touch karein, kiss karein, hug karein, haath pakrain aur iss ki neck par massage karein. Biwi ko mian ki qurbat bohut pasand hai. Mohabbat kaisey ki jaye, iss ke liye yeh warzish karein.

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