JINSI KHUWAHISH KI KAMI (LOW LIBIDO)

JINSI KHUWAHISH KI KAMI (LOW LIBIDO)

Aam tor per mian biwi ki jinsi dilchaspi (libido) aur khwahish ek jaisi nahin hoti bul kay donon mein farq hota hai kahin aurat ki jinsi khwahish zyada hoti hai aur kahin mard ki waisey yeh sochna aur tasawwur karna bhi na ma'aqooliyat hai kay do mukhtalif afraad ek jaisi ek jitni jinsi khwahish rakhtey hun jinsi khwahish ka ikhtilaaf aam doosrey ikhtilaaf ki tarah hai maslan kisi ko baerooni sargarmiyan pasand hain to doosrey ko gharelu ek ko football pasand hai to doosrey ko cricket ta'hum inn ikhtilafaat sey nipatney ka behtreen tariqa kuch maano aur kuch manwao ka usool hai aur yehi usool mian biwi ki mukhtalif jinsi khwahishaat kay silsilay mein bhi ikhtiyar karna hoga ek doosrey kay jinsi jazbaat ka ehtraam karna hoga. Iss surat mein zindagi bohut khushgawar hogi. 1972 kay ek survey kay mutabiq aam jorey ausatan haftey mein do baar jinsi amal sey lutf andoz hotey hain magar umar barhney kay sath iss mein kami aa jati hai. Magar ba'az auqaay fard ki jinsi khwahishat aur dilchaspi aohut kam ho jati hai aur ba'az ki bilkul hi khatam ho jati hai.  Ek american survey mein 35% khawateen aur 16% mardon ney sex mein adum dilchaspi ka izhar kya kuch khawateen ki jinsi khwahish (libido) ahista ahista khatam hoti hai aur kuch ki ek dum khatam ho jati hai ba'az khawateen ko kisi moqa per khwahish hoti hai aur kisi doosrey moqa per nahin hoti iss ki wajah janney kay liye record rakhein aur baghor jaeza lein kay kab khwahish hoti hai aur kab nahin hoti amooman aisa ho sakta hai kay jab aap relax hun to khwahish ho magar jab tense hun to adum dilchaspi ka shikaar ho jaein ba'az auqaat jora kisi wajah sey sex tark kar deta hai maslan beemari, laraee jhagrey, zehni dabau aur muashi pareshani waghaera yeh bhi khwahish mein kami ka sabab ban saktey hain. Ba'az auqaat sex ko doobara shuru karna mushkil ho jata hai jab lamba arsa sex na ki jaey to isey dobara shuru karna zara mushkil ho jata hai. Hum aap ko batein gey kay aap kis tarah apni jinsi dilchaspiyon ko bahaal kar saktey hain magar iss sey pehley jinsi khwahish ki kami (low libido) ki wajoohaat ko janna hoga.

Jinsi Khwahish Ki Kami Ki Wajoohaat

(Low Libido Reasons)

Iss masley ki wajoohaat nafsiyati kay elawa jismani bhi ho sakti hain mahireen kay khayal kay mutabiq jismani ya medical wajoohaat 10% ta 20% ho sakti hain jab kay zyada ter wajoohaat nafsiyati hoti hain.

CHAND EHAM WAJOOHAT:

1. Manfi Jinsi Ta'aleem o Tarbiyat (negative sexual training):

Agarcha islam mein shaadi kay ba'ad sex ko naeki aur sadqa qarar diya hai magar phir bhi la ilmi ki wajah sey sex ko amooman bura samjha jata hai jiski wajah sey yeh masla paeda ho jata hai.

2. Mubashrat Mehramaat (incestous experience):

Ba'az auqaat larkiyan bachpan mein qareebi azizon maslan chacha, maamoon, bhai hatta kay walid waghaera ki jinsi zyadti ka nishana ban jati hain phir shadeed ehsaas-e-gunah ki wajah se bachiyan sex mein dilchaspi kho deti hain.

3. Zina biljabr:

Zina biljabr jinsi dilchaspi mein kami ki ek ahem wajah hai waqe'aa guzarney kay mahinon, ba'az auqaat saalo'n ba'ad bhi fard khauf ka shikar hota hai phir shaadi kay ba'ad ju'nhi jinsi amal honey lagta hai to wahi khauf jinsi khwahish ko kam kar deta hai.

4. Zehni Daba'u Aur Thakawat (stress and fatigue):

Jinsi khwahish mein kami ki ek bari wajah kaam ka daba'u hai kaam dafter ka ho ya ghar ka ya bachin ki zimme daariyan iss tarah thakawat ki wajah se bhi jinsi khwahish kam ho jati hai aisi surat mein amooman chuttiyon mein yeh khwahish barh jati hai.

5. Boriyat (boredome):

  Ek survey mein kuch khawateen ne bataya keh shaadi kay ibteda'ee dino'n mein unki jinsi khwahish bohut zyada thi magar ek do saal ba'd kam ho gaee ek aadh saal ba'ad sex routine ban jati hai hatta kay ek pasandeeda dish bhi roz kha kar boriyat ho jati hai.

6. Jazbaati Sadma (emotional trauma):

Ba'az auqaat khawand kay kisi aur aurat se ta'alluqaat qayem ho jatey hain ju'nhi biwi ko ilm hota hai to uski jinsi  Dilchaspi aur khwahish khatam ho jati hai iss tarah bachey ki paeda'esh, mulazimat ka khatima, kisi qareebi aziz maslan walaeden aur behen bhai ki wafat kay ba'ad amooman jinsi khwahishat kam ho jati hain. Ba'az beemariyon ki wajah sey aurat ka pistaan kaat diya jata hai ya rahem nikal diya jata hai yeh aurat kay liye ek sadma hai jo iss kay jinsi jazbaat ko manfi tor per muta'assir karta hai.

7. Mian Biwi Kay Kharab Ta'alluqaat (relationship problems):

  Mian biwi kay aapas kay ta'alluqaat joray ki jinsi zindagi per asar andaz hotey hain agar aap ki jinsi khwahish mein kami ho chuki hai magar aap doosrey logon ko dekh kar jinsi tor per mushta'el hoti hain, inko dekh kar romantic mehsoos karti hain to aap kay masley ki wajah ba'hmi ta'alluqaat ki kharabi hai. Dil mein ek doosrey kay khilaf ghussa, ek doosrey per ilzam tarashi waghaera bharpoor jinsi ta'alluqaat mein bohut bari rukawat hain, thori bohut tuu takar to har ghar mein hoti hai magar jab yeh zyada ho jaey ya mustaqil surat ikhtiyar kar ley to phir iss tarah kay masa'el paeda ho jatey hain.

8. Jinsi Adum Itmenan (lack of sexual satisfaction)

Agar aap jinsi tor per apney khawand sey khush nahin to aap ki jinsi khwahish mein kami ki wajah yehi adum itmenan hai. Humeray haan khawateen ki jinsi khwahish mein kami ki sab sey bari wajah aurat ka jinsi adum itmenan hai. Jinsi itmenan hasil karney kay chund makhsoos tareqey hain agar khawand inn sey aagaah ho to adum itmenan ka masla paeda nahin hota. Humaray haan mard aur aurat donon inn tareeqon sey aagaah nahin jis ki wajah sey na khawand biwi ko mutma'en kar pata hai aur na biwi khud apney aap ko sukoon dey sakti hai.  Jab ek lamba arsa ek aurat musalsal jinsi itmenan-o-sukoon se mehroom rehti hai to woh shadeed uljhan ka shikar ho jati hai aur phir mazeed frustration sey bachney kay liye la sha'oori tor per uski jinsi khwahish kam aur ba'az auqaat khatam ho jati hai.

9. Hamal Ka Khauf (fear of pregnancy):

Ba'az auqaat aurat kisi wajah sey mazeed bachey nahin chahti maslan pehley hi kafi bachey hain ya aakhri bachey ki paeda'esh per aurat ko shadeed takleef ka saamna karna para, to iss surat mein amooman aurat ki jinsi khwahish bohut kam ho jati hai kay na mubaashirat ho gi na hamal hoga aur na hi bacha paeda karney ki takleef.

10. Maazi Kay Tulkh Waqe'aat (bad experiences of the past):

Ba'az auqaat aurat key zehen sey mazi kay saabqa tulkh waqe'aat maslan laraee jhagray, khawand ka nagawar ravayya aur purani beemari waghaera nahin nikaltey jo kay abhi tak la shaoor mein mojood hotey hain aur aurat ko tung kar rahay hotey hain jis ki wajah sey aurat ki jinsi dilchaspi aur khwahish kam ho jati hai.

11. Masbat Fawaed (positive benefits)

Ba'az auqaat iss masley ki wajah bari dilchasp hoti hai yani la shaoori tor per biwi khawand ko pareshani aur sharmindagi sey bachati hai maslan khawand ko tana'u ya sur'at-e-inzaal ka masla hai jis ki wajah sey woh jald manzil ho jata hai aur phir sharmindagi mehsoos karta hai aisi surat mein biwi ko na jinsi khwahish hogi na mubaashirat ho gi aur na hi khawand ko sharmindagi ka saamna karna parey ga.

 Yeh janney kay liye keh shayad aap kay maslay ki wajah yehi masbat fawaed hun to aap apney aap sey sawal karein keh agar aap jinsi tor per theek hon to iss kay kiya naqa'es aur manfi asraat murattib hun gey agar yehi wajah hai to aap ko nafsiyati elaj ki zaroorat hai.

12. Jinsi Zyaditi

Bachpan mein bohut sey bachey jinsi zyaditi ka shikar ho jatey hain ba'az bachey iss sey khauf zada ho jatey hain aur ba'az iss ki wajah sey ehsaas e gunah mein mubtala ho jatey hain jis ki wajah sey unn ko sex sey nafrat ho jati hai aur unn ki jinsi khwahish bohut kam ya bilkul khatam ho jati hai.

Jinsi Khwahish Mein Kami Ki Medical Wajoohaat (Physical Reasons Of Low Libido)

  Agarcha iss masley ki ahem wajoohaat (80%) nafsiyati hoti hain magar ba'az auqaat iss ki wajah medical bhi hoti hai.

Chund ahem medical wajoohaat darj zael hain: 

1. Jinsi Hormones Ki Kami (low testosterone level):

Khwateen o hazraat ki jinsi khwahish ka ta'alluq jinsi hormone testosterone kay sath hota hai agar iss mein kami ho jaey to phir aurat ki jinsi khwahish kam ho jati hai lekin aisa hota bohut hi kam hai.

2. Fitri Tabdeeliya'n (natural swing):

Ba'az khawateen ki jinsi khwahish (libido) aur dilchaspi mahwaari kay chakkar (menses cycle) kay sath badalti rehti hai iss tarah ba'az khawateen ki khwahish baeza raezi (ovulation) kay dinon mein kam ho jati hai jab kay ba'az khawateen ki yeh khwahish barh jati hai ba'az khawateen ki jinsi khwahish baeza raezi aur mahwaari (menses) kay darmiyani arsey mein kam ho jati hai inn dinon ba'az khawateen ka estrogen level kam ho jata hai jis ki wajah sey aurat thakawat, ser dard aur hot flashes mehsoos karti hai iss kay elawa faraj mein jalan aur khushki ho jati hai jo mubashrat mein takleef (painful intercourse) ka sabab banti hain mahwaari kay qareeb testosterone mein bhi kami ho jati hai jis ki wajah sey jinsi khwahish (libido) kam ho jati hai yeh kami testosterone dey kar poori ki ja sakti hai.

3. Beemariya'n (illness):

Kaee beemariya'n bhi jinsi khwahish (libido) mein kami ka sabab banti hain maslan depression ki wajah sey fard shadeed udaasi aur afsurdagi mehsoos karta hai aur amooman jinsi khwahish (sexual desire) kam hojati hai iss kay elawa depression ki adviyat bhi ba'az auqaat jinsi khwahish ko kam kardeti hain. Sugar ki wajah sey bhi yeh masla paeda ho jata hai, aam beemariyo'n ki wajah sey bhi jinsi dilchaspi (sexual desire) khatam ho jati hai khusoosan agar beemari lambi ho jaey agar beemari aarzi hai to beemari khatam honay per jinsi khwahish khud ba khud bahaal ho jati hai ba'az auqaat khawand ki lambi beemari ki wajah sey mubashrat mein taweel waqfa aa jata hai jis ki wajah sey jinKaeesi khwahish (libido) khatam ho jati hai iss surat mein beemari kay khatmey per mubashrat ki shaoori koshish ki jaey.

4. Adviyaat (medicines):

Ba'az adviyaat kay musalsal istaemaal sey bhi jinsi khwahish (libido) ka masla paeda ho jata hai, birth control ki adviyat kay musalsal istaemaal sey yeh masla paeda ho sakta hai agarcha adviyaat ka asar tamaam afraad per ek jaisa nahin hota. Kisi per kam aur kisi per zyada aur kisi per bilkul nahin hota iss surat mein dawa chorney ki bajaey doctor sey raabta kya jaey taa' kay woh koi mutabadil dawa tajweez kar sakey jo jinsi khwahish (sexual desire) ko muta'assir na karti ho.

5. Hamal Aur Bachey Ki Paeda'esh (pregnancy and childbirth):

Hamal kay doran aur bachey ki paeda'esh kay ba'ad bohut si aurton ki jinsi khwahish (libido) kam ho jati hai hamal kay ibtedaee dinon mein ba'az khawateen matli mehsoos karti hain jis ki wajah sey jinsi khwahish (sexual desire) kam ho jati hai. Bachey ki paeda'esh kay ba'ad bhi aurat jinsi dilchaspi mein kami mehsoos karti hai aur yeh masla do maah sey do saal tak reh sakta hai. Bohut si khawateen bachey ki paeda'esh kay ba'ad depression ka shikar ho jati hain aur yeh depression jinsi khwahish mein kami ka sabab ban jata hai ba'az auqaat bachey ki paeda'esh operation sey hoti hai aur zakhm mundamil nahin hota jis ki wajah sey jinsi dilchaspi (libido) mein kami waqa'e ho jati hai.

LOW LIBIDO TREATMENT

Jinsi Jazbaat Ki Bahaali

• Jinsi jazbaat ki bahaali kay liye zaroori hai kay sab sey pehley yeh ma'aloom kya jaey kay masley ki wajah kya hai jab wajah ma'aloom ho jaey to masley ko hal karna aasaan ho jata hai.
• Agar masley ki wajah nafsiyat hai to apney tor per usey hal karna mushkil hota hai iss kay liye kisi mahir e nafsiyat sey madad leney ki zaroorat hai khusoosan agar iss ki wajah mubashrat e mehramaat, zina biljabr, jinsi zyadti, jazbaati sadma, hamal ka khauf ya maazi kay tulkh waqe'aat hain to inn ko mahir e nafsiyat ki madad kay baghaer hal karna kafi mushkil hai tajziyati nafsiyati elaj sey inka hal bohut aasan hai.
• Agar iss ki wajah manfi jinsi ta'aleem hai to phir apney ilm mein izaafa karein iss kay liye humari kitaab 'Sex Education…Sab Kay Liye' bohut mufeed sabit hogi.
• Iss masley ki ek ahem wajah zehni daba'u aur thakawat hai to iss kay hal kay liye mian kay sath hafta waar tafreeh karein kaam mein madad kay liye koi mulazima rakh lein halki phulki warzish ko apni zindagi ka hissa bana lein bachon ki adum mojoodgi mein din ko kuch aaraam kar lein.
• Sex mein yaksaaniyat ko khatam karney kay liye sex mein variety paeda karein har baar sex ka naya tariqa istaemaal karein foreplay mein bhi variety paeda karein iss hawaley sey iss kitab mein bohut sey ideas paesh kiye gaey hain khusoosan 'bharpoor azdawaji khushyian' waley baab ko bar bar parhein aur inn mein sey pasandeeda ideas ko istaemaal karein.
• Jinsi adum itmenan ki surat mein mian sey kahein kay woh iss silsiley mein kisi mahir sey madad lein mian bhi yeh kitab parh lein iss kitab mein bhi aisey tariqey bataey gaey hain jin ki madad sey woh aapko mutmaen kar sakein gey iss kitab mein Aap kay liye bhi bohut sey tips hain jin per amal kar key aap khud bhi apney aap ko khushyan muhayya kar sakti hain.
• Medical wajoohaat ki surat mein kisi achey doctor sey rabta karein uss ki madad sey aap apney jinsi jazbaat ko bahaal kar sakein gi.
• Ab aap ko kuch aisey amali tariqey bataey jaein gey jin ki madad sey aap apney jazbaat ko bahaal kar sakein gi.

NOTE:

Sab sey pehley baahmi ta'alluqaat ko behter kiya jaey achi sex kay liye behter ta'alluqaat bohut zaroori hain iss kay liye mandarja zael mushqein karein:

1. Ta'areef o Tehseen Ki Mushq (appreciation exercise):

Apney ravayyey ko masbat banaein aur ek doosrey per tanqeed karna chor dein tanqeed kay bajaey tehseen karein iss kay liye rozana ek doosrey ki kam az kam teen cheezon ki ta'areef karein maslan ta'areefein din kay kisi bhi hissey mein ki ja sakti hain iss sey aap apney saathi ko mohabbat ka paegham deingi jitni mohabbat deingi utni hi hasil hogi. 

2. Caring Day Exercise:

Donon saathi alaehda beth jaein aur 10 aisi cheezon ki list banaein jo aap kay khayal mein aap ka sathi karta hai ya kar sakta hai jis sey zahir ho kay woh aap ka khayal karta hai yeh koi ma'amooli cheez bhi ho sakti hai inn mein sey bohut si cheezein rozana bhi ki ja sakti hain maslan subah sawarey pehli cheez woh yeh karey kay woh aap ka bosa ley aur kahey kay mein aap sey pyar karta hun mujhey aap sey mohabbat hai. Aap kay tooth brush pey paste laga dey kaam sey wapsi per aap kay liye phool ley aaey, aap ki pasandeeda ice cream laey, kam sey aap ko phone karey, ikatthey warzish karna waghaera. Kaam mushkil na ho aap apni pasand ki toffees bhi maang sakti hain. Lists tayyar karney kay ba'ad dono'n beth jaein aur discuss karein kay har cheez ka kya mafhoom hai. List mein jitni zyada cheezein hungi utni hi aasani kay sath rozana 2, 3 cheezein ki ja sakein gi har sathi kam az kam 3 cheezein rozana zaroor karey aasani kay liye inn liston ko aisi jagah latka dein jahan inn ko aasani sey dekha ja sakey maslan bathroom kay sheeshey per ya fridge kay darwazey waghaera per behter hai kay list rozana banaee jaey phir sham ko check karein kay aap kay saathi ney konsi main cheezein ki hain.

3. Creating Modd:

Gupshup kay liye kuch waqt sirf apney liye rakhein jab sirf aap donon hun ek doosrey kay qareeb hun ek doosrey ki ta'areef karein ek doosrey kay liye achi cheez karein.

Shaoori tor per apney jinsi jazbaat ko ubharein jinsi jazbaat ko ubharney kay liye kaee tareeqey istaemaal kiye ja saktey hain maslan

A. Jinsi Tasawwuraat:

Din kay waqt aisey jinsi tasawwuraat (sexual thoughts) karein jo aap kay jinsi jazbaat ko mushta'el karein yeh kisi bhi qism kay ho saktey Agar aap kay liye yeh tariqa kamyaab ho jaey to isey zaroor istaemaal karein ba'az auqaat kaee dinon ki mushq kay ba'ad yeh tariqa mu'asser hota hai iss kay sath sath aap apney PC muscles ki mushq kar kay bhi jinsi jazbaat ko baedaar kar sakein gi.

D. Chuuney Ki Mushq (touching exercise):

Jinsi jazbaat ko ubharney kay liye chuney ka tariqa bhi kafi mu'asser hai jab aap khawand kay paas sey guzrein to jinsi dilchaspi sey usko chuein, kabhi bosa lein, kabhi baghalgeer hun uss kay sath lipat jaein, usko mohabbat sey seeney sey lagaein walk kartey huey uska hath pakar lein. TV dekhtey huey uski raan kay sath raan jorr kar bethein, muta'alla kartey huey mohabbat aur garamjoshi kay sath uss kay sath liptein raat ko laettey waqt uss kay sath mohabbat sey liptein, chimtein, uski peeth per thapki dein, pyar sey khawand ki raan per hath phaerein, thapthapaein uss sey jazbaat baedaar hotey hain iska yeh matlab nahin kay aap kay jinsi jazbaat usi waqt bharrak uthein gey aur aap uss waqt mubashrat karleingi ba'az auqaat kaee din yeh mushq karni parti hai tab ja kar jinsi jazbaat baedaar hotey hain. 

                                     Agar aap ney lamba arsa mubashrat nahin ki to phir shayad ooper wali mushqein aap kay liye zyada mu'asser na hun kyun kay adum mubashrat kay lambey arsey ki wajah sey jinsi ta'alluqaat sey bachna aap ki aadat ban chuki hogi iss aadat ko khatam karney aur jisi jazbaat ko baedaar karney sey pehlay yeh note karein kay aap mubashrat sey bachney kay liye kya tariqa istaemaal karti hain.  hain apney tasawwuraat per pabandi na lagaein aisey tasawwuraat bhi kiye ja saktey hain jo namumkin hun ya mazhaka khaez hun asli cheez yeh hai kay tasawwuraat aisey hun jin sey aap kay jinsi jazbaat ubhrein inki bar bar mushq karein. Iss tarah bhi kya ja sakta hai kay kisi pursukoon jagah sukoon sey beth jaein aur saabqa khushgawar jinsi tasawwuraat ko zehen mein laein recall karein jab zehen mein tasweer ban jaey to iss tasweer mein apni pasand kay mutabiq tabdiliya'n kar lein. Tasweer ko zyada roshan, rangeen aur saaf bana lein tasweer ko bara karein aur apney qareeb le aaein ab yeh tasweer pehley sey zyada purkashish ho jaey gi phir her do ghantey ba'ad 30, 30 seconds key liye isi tasweer ko dobara zehen mein la'ein.

> Romantic Literature Ka Muta'alla:

Romantic literature ka muta'alla bhi jinsi jazbaat ko ubharta hai iss ka tareeqa yah hai kay din mein kaee baar chund safhaat parh liye jaein iss ko mazeed mu'asser bananey kay liye aap iss ka tasawwur bhi kar sakti hain.

> Qabal Az Waqt Tayyari Ki Mushq (anticipation exercise):

Jinsi jazbaat ko baedaar karney ka yeh ek mu'asser tariqa hai apney khawand ko phone karein aur raat ko sex kay hawaley sey program banaein agarcha aap kay jinsi jazbaat baedaar nahin ta'hum aap iss tarah zahir karein jaisey aap kay jinsi jazbaat baedaar hun iss kay liye aap ko pehlay apney aap ko aamaada aur tayyar karna hoga. Iss kay ba'ad asal jazbaat khud ba khud paeda ho jatey hain din mein kaee baar aap act karein kay aap kay jazbaat baedaar hain bar bar karney sey amooman yeh baedaar ho jatey hain. Chuna'ncha apney jinsi ravayyey mein tabdeeli laney sey pehley yeh ma'aloom karein kay aap sex sey kis tarah pehlootahi (avoiding) karti hain note karein kay jab jinsi ta'alluqaat mumkin hotey hain to phir bachney kay liye aap kya karti hain ju'nhi mushahida karlein to foran note kar lein.

Avoiding Sex In Marriage

Sex sey bachney kay liye kya aap raat ko der tak kaam karti hain aur phir thak kar so jati hain kya aap donon kay soney kay auqaat ek doosrey sey mukhtalif hain aur aap ikatthey bister per nahin jatey aur na hi ikatthey jagtey hain? Kya aap bister per jatey waqt bila nagha apney khawand sey jhagra karti hain ya jab bhi aap ek doosrey kay qareeb hun to aap zaroor jhagarti hain. Kya aap jinsi amal shuru honay kay waqt khawand per tanqeed karti hain? Kya aap ko sex kay waqt purani naa khushgawar batein yaad aati hain jin per aap ko ghussa aata hai? Waghaera. Jab aap ko ma'aloom ho jaey kay aap kis tarah sex sey pehlootahi karti hain to agla qadam yeh hoga kay aap iss per apney mian sey guftugoo karein aur inn ko tabdeel karney ki koshish karein iss silsiley mein ek doosrey ki madad karein shayad ab aap ko pehel karney mein sharmindagi mehsoos na hu. Aap ko kaee tarah kay khauf o khadshaat bhi ho saktey hain maslan yeh khauf kay shayad aap achi tarah sex na kar sakein yeh khauf kay ab shayad aap kay khawand kay liye aap mein koi kashish nahin inn khadshaat ko mian kay saath discuss karein iss sey yeh khadshaat bilkul khatam na hongey magar bohut hadd tak kam ho jaeingey inn ko kam karney kay liye mushtarka koshish karein.

Avoiding Sex In Marriage Treatment:

• Jinsi ta'alluqaat ko bahal karney kay liye sab sey pehley avoiding sex (sex sey pehlootahi) karney waley tariqey chor dein iss kay liye mandarja zael tariqey ikhtiyar kye ja saktey hain.
• Haftey mein chund shaamein mian kay sath guzarein agar aap der tak kaam kar kay thak jati hain to haftey mein ek do din kaam ko chund ghantey pehley khatam karlein ya subah tak multawi kar dein aur raat ki bajaey subah ko kar lein har waqt mian kay sath rehney ki zaroorat nahin woh bhi boriyat ka sabab banta hai bul kay chund achi shaamon sey lutf andoz hun.
• Agar aap kaam kaaj kay ba'ad pyar mohabbat kay waqt zehni daba'u mehsoos karti hain to donon mian biwi routine mein ikatthey ghusl karlein, shower lein aap donon haftey mein chund raatein gup shup aur khelon kay liye makhtus kar saktey hain maslan ludo, kaeram board, taash waghaera yeh saarey kaam bister per bhi ho saktey hain, wahin sey inn khelon sey mohabbat kay khel (foreplay) ki taraf bhi ja saktey hain.
• Yeh cheez bhi kafi aam hai kay donon mian biwi ki bunyadi jismani saakht mein farq hota hai maslan ek raat ko der tak jaagta hai doosra jald so jata hai ek subah der sey uthta hai doosra jald iss surat mein mubashrat ya to dopaher ko ya phir subah zara der sey ho sakti hai. Mulaazimat, business aur bachon ki wajah sey amooman aisa hona mushkil hota hai le'haza yeh baat bari ahem hai kay haftey mein chund raatein ikatthey soein aur ikatthey jaagein iss kay liye jald soney wala din ko soey ya raat ko coffee ka ek cup pee ley.
• Agar donon mian biwi iss bunyad per sex karney sey ghabratey hain kay kahin mustarid na kar diye jaein aur inkaar aur mustarid hona unko bura lagta hai to iss kay liye sex kay liye paeshgi din aur waqt muqarrar kya ja sakta hai. Iss surat mein pehel kartey waqt mustarid honay ka khatra nahin hota. Iss kay elawa paeshgi planning sey sex ko zyada khushgawar banaya ja sakta hai. Ab chu'n kay aap ney apney aap ko iss makhsoos moqa kay liye sex kay liye tayyar karna hai yeh cheez aap kay jinsi jazbaat ko paeshgi baedaar kar degi.

Bister per jatey waqt ya imkaani pyar o mohabbat kay waqt ki larayion ko mukammal tor per control karna qadrey mushkil hai ta'hum shaoori koshish sey inn ko kam kya ja sakta hai aur bharpoor koshish sey khatm bhi kya ja sakta hai. Iss silsiley mein jora yeh taey kar ley kay sotey waqt ya sham ko ek khaas waqt kay ba'ad mutanazae mua'amlaat per guftugoo nahin karein gey. Iss silsiley mein jin ma'amlaat per jhagra honey ka imkaan ho inn per subah ya sa paher ko guftugoo kar li jaey ta'hum kisi bhi masley ko ek din kay liye multawi bhi kya ja sakta hai iss sey qayamat nahin aa jaegi agar aap koshish kay ba wajood jhagrey baghaer nahin reh saktiin to phir kisi mahir e nafsiyat ki madad lein.
Ba'az auqaat maazi kay dukh aur khawand ka saabqa manfi ravayya jinsi qurbat mein madakhlat karta hai amooman aisey khayalaat aap kay control sey baher mehsoos hotey hain ba'az auqaat mehsoos hota hai kay woh aap ki khwahish kay bur aks paeda ho gaey hain ta'hum maazi kay dukh, runj, takleefein aur khawand ka manfi ravayyay ka yaad aana aap ki khushgawar azdwaji zindagi kay liye kisi bhi tor mufeed nahin iss silsiley mein mandarja zael mushq istaemaal karein.

Negative Thought Stopping:

Agar aap ko apney saathi kay maazi kay na khushgawar ravayyey kay hawaley sey khayalaat pareshan kartey hain to inko rokney kay liye aankhein bund kar kay lafz 'stop' buland aawaz sey kahein agar aap akeli nahin to tasawwur karein kay aap ek awaz ko lafz 'stop' buland awaz sey kehtey huey dekh rahi hain iss surat mein aap ko buland aawaz sey 'stop' kehney ki zaroorat nahin iss tareeqey sey manfi sochein ruk jati hain. Iss tariqey ki aap iss tarah bhi mushq kar saktey hain kay ek ghaer mufeed khayal zehen mein laein phir ya khud buland aawaz sey lafz 'stop' kahein ya phir ek awaz ko yehi lafz chilla kar kehtey huey tasawwur karein aur aankhein bund rakhtey huey ek lamba saans lein aur phir tasawwur ki madad sey apney aap ko maazi ki kisi khubsurat aur pursukoon jagah ley jaein ya phir aap lafz 'stop' kay nishan ka tasawwur karein ya aap apney dimagh mein jo awaz sunti hain iss ko kam kar kay off kardein ya awaz ko apney jism sey nikal kar duur faasley per kar dein, duur ley jaein. Agar yeh manfi sochein tasawwur ki surat mein aati hain jiss mein aap ka sathi aap sey badtameezi sey paesh aa raha hai to tasawwur ko dhundhla kardein, chota kar dein aur duur ley jaein iss kay asraat khatam ho jaein gey ek do baar karney sey yeh tasawwur dobara nahin ubhrey ga.

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FRIGIDITY (JINSI SARDMEHRI)

FRIGIDITY (JINSI SARDMEHRI)

Khwateen kay jinsi lutf mein sab sey bari rukawat jinsi sardmehri hai iss beemari mein aurat jinsi ishte'aal sey awwal to jinsi lutf hasil nahin kar pati ya bohut hi ma'amooli lutf mehsoos karti hai aisi aurtein orgasm hasil nahin kartiin jinsi sardmehri mein aurat na sirf jinsi lutf kay ehsaasaat mehsoos nahin karti bul kay jismani jinsi ishte'aal sey uski faraj mein chiknahat bhi nahin hoti bohut hi ma'amooli aur bara'ey naam chiknahat hoti hai isey jinsi bey hisi bhi kehtey hain

  Jinsi sardmehri ki do aqsaam hain

1. Ibteda'ee Sardmehri (iss mein aurat ney kabhi jinsi lutf hasil nahin kya hota)
2. Saanvi Sardmehri (iss mein aurat ba'az auqaat jinsi ishte'aal sey kuch jinsi lazzat mehsoos karti hai aur ba'az khawateen sirf kisi khaas mahol mein jinsi ishte'aal sey jinsi lutf mehsoos karti hain)

Jinsi Sardmehri - Elaj (Frgidity Treatment):

Jinsi sardmehri ki wajah amooman nafsiyati hoti hai chuna'ncha iss kay liye tajziyati nafsiyati elaj ki zaroorat hoti hai magar nafsiyati elaj sey pehley mandarja zael per amal kar kay iss masley ko hal karney ki koshish ki ja sakti hai . Bohut si khawateen iss sey faeda utha leti hain.

Jinsi Ehsasaat Per Tawajjuh Markooz Karney Ki Mushq

Sab sey pehley jora kuch arsey kay liye mubashrat aur orgasm kay husool ki koshish tark kar dey, iss ki bajaey apni saari tawajjuh jinsi sargarmi maslan ek doosrey kay jism ko chuney, sehlaney, thapthapaney, bos o kinar (kissing), galey laganey aur baghal geer honay tak mehdood kardey iss amal mein pehley aurat khawand kay jism ko chuti, sehlati, thapthapati aur bos o kinar (kissing) waghaera karti hai iss kay ba'ad yehi amal khawand dohrata hai iss doran aap ney apni sari tawajjuh jinsi ehsaasaat per markooz karni hai aksar auqaat iss mushq kay masbat asraat dramaee tor per zahir hotey hain amooman aurat jald hi jinsi lutf mehsoos karney lagti hai aur iss tarah pehli bar jinsi lutf hasil karleti hai aurat iss doran apni sari tawajjah chuney aur doosri sargarmiyon kay ehsaasat per markooz karey  Yeh mushq rozana uss waqt ki jaey jab mian biwi donon bohut pursukoon hun, mahol bhi pursukoon aur jinsi jazbaat ko ubharney wala ho. Rozana kam az kam aadha ghanta yeh mushq ki jaey iss mushq mein ek doosrey kay jism ka massage kya jaey magar a'aaza e makhsoosa khusoosan aurat kay a'aaza e makhsoosa (female genitalia) ko na chu'a jaey.

Stimulation Of Female Genitalia

A'aaza e Makhsoosa Ka Ishte'aal

 Jab aurat ko jinsi ishte'aal sey jinsi lutf aur lazzat mehsoos honay lagey to phir iss mushq ko a'aaza e makhsoosa tak phaela diya jaey iss mein a'aaza e makhsoosa ko bohut hi halkey phulkey andaz mein chu'aa aur mushta'el kya jaey pehley khawand biwi kay jism ko chu'ey aur sehlaey, thapthapaey, bos o kinar (kissing) aur massage karey phir bohut pyar aur aaraam sey aap kay pistaano'n kay nipples ko chuey aur mushta'el karey phir faraj kay dahaney ya iss kay ibteda'ee hassas hissey aur bazer aur iss kay ird gird kay hissey ko chua aur mushta'el kya jaey lekin orgasm hasil karney ki koshish na ki jaey yani iss mushq ka maqsad a'aaza e makhsoosa kay ishte'aal sey lutfandoz hona hai naa kay orgasm ka husool. Chuney aur massage kay waqt chiknahat zaroor istaemaal ki jaey warna aurat ko takleef ho sakti hai yeh sab kuch biwi ki hidayaat aur pasand kay mutabiq kya jaey agar khawand iss mushq mein poori tarah dilchaspi na ley to aurat pehley uss ko mutabadil jinsi tariqon (sexual satisfaction alternatives) sey jinsi sukoon muhayya kar dey to phir woh bhi iss mushq mein dilchaspi ley ga mushq mein position mian biwi ki marzi ki hogi aur aurat sari tawajjuh jinsi lutf per markooz karey.

Mubashrat

Aakhri marhaley per mubashrat karni hoti hai iss mubashrat kay liye 2 sex positions zyada munasib hain. 

1. Pehlu ba Pehlu (Side by Side)
2. Aurat ooper aur mard neechey (Woman On Top)

  Jab pehli donon mushqon ki wajah sey aap jinsi ishte'aal kay urooj per hun to phir mubashrat kay liye pehel karein gi khawand ko neechey lita'en aur aap uss kay ooper sawar ho jaein taangein mian kay dharr kay donon taraf hun dakhool kay ba'ad aap ki saari tawajjuh faraj ki hassasiyat per ho kay aap ko kaisa mehsoos ho raha hai. Iss doran aap ooper neechey stroke lagaein aur sath hi PC muscles ki mushq bhi karein iss surat mein aap kay lazzat angaez ehsaasaat mein izafa ho jaey ga iss mubashrat mein control aurat kay paas hota hai aur iss ka maqsad jinsi ehsaasaat ko barhana hota hai chuna'ncha biwi sari tawajjuh faraj ki hassasiyat per markooz karey. Agar mard inzal kay qareeb honay lagey to donon alaehda ho jaein iss tarah mard pur sukoon ho jaey ga iss doran mard apney haathon sey aurat ka ishte'aal jari rakhey khusoosan uss kay hassas hisson (female genitalia) ko mushta'el karta rahey iss amal ko kaee baar dohraya jaey agar aurat orgasm kay qareeb ho to woh khawand ko bataey ta'kay woh apni sargarmi jari rakhey aur agar aurat orgasm kay qareeb nahin to phir ma'aqool waqfey kay ba'ad khawand mubashrat mein inzal ho jaey yeh mushq uss waqt tak jari rahey jab tak aurat orgasm hasil karna shuru na ho jaey. Iss maqsad ka hussol jald bhi ho sakta hai aur der ba'ad bhi ta'hum mustaqil mizaji sey mushq ko jari rakhein agar yeh mushqein aap kay maqsad kay husool kay liye mufeed sabit na hun to phir kisi achey mahir e nafsiyat sey baqaeda elaj karaein Allah ney har maslay ka hull paeda kya hai.

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VAGINISMUS (ADUM-DAKHOL) IN URDU

VAGINISMUS (ADUM-DAKHOL)

Chund din pehlay merey paas ek khoobsurat jora aaya unki shaadi ko derh saal sey bhi zyada arsa ho gaya tha magar abhi tak mubaashirat mukammal nahin ho saki thi jab bhi mubashrat ki koshish hoti to biwi khaufzada ho jati uska jism akarr jata jiski wajah sey dakhool na mumkin ho jata. Shaadi kay ibteda'ee dinon mein dakhool kay liye biwi ka ta'awwun aur rehmunaee bohut zaroori hai iss kay baghaer dakhool na mumkin hai bar bar ki naakaam koshish kay ba'ad khawand ney mehsoos karna shirat kay qabil nahin. Ab woh shadeed depression ka shikaar ho gaya uski jinsi dilchaspi kam ho gaee khusoosan biwi ko dekh kar uss kay jazbaat mein koi garmi paeda hona bund ho gaee uss ney ka'ee baar khudkushi ka bhi socha. Mian biwi kay tafseeli interview kay ba'ad ilm hua kay masla usey nahin uski biwi ko hai yeh baat sunn kar woh kafi relax ho gaya yani biwi iss beemari ka shikaar thi jab uska tajziya kya gaya to ma'aloom hua kay uss ney apni sahaeliyon aur cousins sey sunn rakha tha kay mubashrat aur bachey ki paeda'esh ek bohut takleef deh amar hai le'haza uss ney socha kay woh to iss surat main shaadi na kar sakey gi uss ney bataya kay woh haeraan thi kay itna bara zakar faraj mein dakhil kaisey hoga. Vaginismus (adumdakhool) mein faraj kay mu'nh kay ird gird kay patthey ghaer iraadi tor per sukarr jatey hain jiski wajah sey dakhool na mumkin ho jata hai yeh aurtein jinsi le'haz sey bilkul theek hoti hain sex sey lutfandoz hoti hain aisey a'aamaal jinka aakhri nateeja mubashrat na ho uss sey lutf uthati hain. Foreplay aur bazer kay ishte'aal sey orgasm tak hasil karleti hain magar ju'nhi dakhool ka marhala aaey ga yeh shadeed khaufzada ho jati hain ba'az surton mein aisi aurat ko teeka laga kar bey hosh kar kay mubashrat ki koshish ki gaee woh bhi kaamyaab na hosaki ta'hum yeh beemaari bohut kam hai aisi khwateen kay khawand bar bar ki naakaami kay ba'ad sex mein dilchaspi kho detey hain aur saanvi namardi ka shikaar ho jatey hain.

Adumdakhool Ki Wajoohaat

(Causes Of Vaginismus)

Iss masley ki wajoohaat nafsiyati bhi hoti hain aur jismani bhi. Ta'hum zyada ter wajoohaat nafsiyati hoti hain merey apney tajurbey kay mutabiq iss ki sab sey bari wajah mubashrat ka khauf hai humarey haan iss hawaley sey bohut si ghalat baatein ma'aroof hain meri ek mareeza ney bataya kay uss kay mian ney usey bataya tha kay uss kay dost ki shaadi ki pehli raat uski biwi ki cheekhein dur dur tak suni gaee'n zahir hai kay yeh bilkul mubaaligha hai pehli mubashrat mein itni takleef nahin hoti ya larki ney suna hota hai kay mubashrat kay ba'ad woh haamila hogi aur bachey janney kay doran woh marr jaegi yani iss khauf ki wajah aksar auqaat ghalat ma'aloomaat aur laa ilmi hoti hai. Mubashrat kay khauf ki ba'az doosri wajoohaat bhi hoti hain maslan koi jinsi kashmakash, bachpan ki jinsi zyadti, zina biljabar, mardo'n ka khauf aur faraj kay phatney ka saha'oori ya laa sha'oori khauf waghaera iss kay elawa ehsaas e gunah aur sex ko gunda samajhna bhi ek aam wajah hai.

Adamdakhol ki Jismani Wajoohat

Vaginismus ki physical causes (Jismani wajoohaat) mein sakht parda e bakarat (hymen) sar-e-fehrist hai ba'az auqaat yeh parda iss qadar sukht aur mota hota hai kay kisi bhi surat dakhool nahin ho sakta iss surat mein jab bhi mubaashirat ki koshish hoti hai to usey shadeed takleef hoti hai. Aisi surat mein fori tor per doctor sey raabta kya jaey iss kay khatmey kay liye bohut ma'amooli operation ki zaroorat hai paeroo ki beemari ki wajah sey bhi yeh masla paeda ho jata hai ba'az auqaat bachey ki paeda'esh kay ba'ad bhi yeh masla paeda ho jata hai ba'az auqaat bachey ki takleef deh paedae'sh kay ba'ad bhi aurtein iss beemari mein mubtala ho jati hain.

NOTE:

Vaginismus Treatment mein der na ki jaey warna aurat kay sath mard bhi ka'ee masa'el ka shikaar ho jata hai iski jinsi khwahish aur dilchaspi bilkul khatam ho jati hai ya phir woh jinsi khwahish ki takmeel kay liye ghar sey baher doosri aurton kay paas jata hai aur ba'az afraad nafsiyati mardana kamzori ka shikaar ho jatey hain. Der ki surat mein amooman shaadi talaq per khatm ho jati hai elaj kay liye sab sey pehley kisi achi khatoon doctor sey muaaena karaya jaey ta'kay woh itmenaan karley kay iss maslay ki koi jismani wajah nahin agar masley ki koi jismani wajah nahin to phir kisi achey mahir e nafsiyat sey raabta kya jaey. Jo jinsi masail mein bhi maharat rakhta ho aksar mahireen e nafsiyat iss hawaley sey na balad hotey hain ba'az shehron mein to nafsiyati elaj ki sahoolat hi mayasser nahin.

SELF TREATMENT OF VAGINISMUS:

Agar iss masley ki nafsiyati wajoohaat bohut gehri nahin to aap khud bhi iss masley ko hal kar sakti hain magar iss tariqey ko shaadi sey pehley kisi bhi surat mein istaemaal na kya jaey kyun kay  Iss mein parda e bakarat phutt jata hai iss sey khawand biwi ki asmat per shakk kar sakta hai. Apni madad aap (selfhelp) ka yeh tariqa bohut aasan hai behter hai iss silsiley mein aap apney khawand ko aetmaad mein lein aur do haftey mubashrat ki koshish na ki jaey lekin aap apney mian ko foreplay aur jinsi sukoon kay mutabadil tariqon ki madad sey jinsi sukoon pohoncha sakti hain ta'kay woh bey chaen ho kar jaldi mein koi ghalat faisla na kar bethey.


Iss tariqa e elaj mein taqreeban do haftey lag jatey hain magar kamyaabi ki sharah 100% hai agar aap iss mein kamyaab nahin hotiin to phir isi mushq kay sath sath kisi maahir e nafsiyat sey bhi madad lein ta'kay woh aap kay la'shaoori khauf ko khatam kar sakey.
  Amooman dekha gaya hai kay iss tarah kay masley mein donon mian biwi ko ilm hi nahin hota kay exactly mubashrat karni kahan hai chuna'ncha elaj ka pehla qadam yeh hoga kay aap achi tarah roshni mein apni andam e nehani ka muaena karein dekhein konsi cheez kahan hai muaeney sey pehlay agar aap iss jagah ki tasweer dekh lein to muaena karney mein aasaani hogi. (tasaweer humerey haan mil sakti hain) achi tarah muaena karney kay ba'ad apney khawand ko bhi iss jagah ka achi tarah muaena karaein ta'kay woh jaan ley kay bazer kahan hai, faraj aur maq'ad kahan hai. Doosrey qadam per aap 30 minute ka pursukoon waqt iss mushq kay liye mukhtus karein yeh mushq din mein do teen baar bhi ki ja sakti hai iss tarah iss masley per jald qabu paa liya jaey ga kisi pursukoon aur neem garam jagah ka intekhaab karein apney neechey waley kaprey utaar lein laet jaein ya beth jaein  neemdaraz hona zyada behter hai. Aankhein bund kar kay 3 lambey saans lein phir mazeed 3 lambey saans ley kar jism ko relax karein ab apni faraj ko neechey push karein jaisey aap koi cheez faraj sey baher dhakael rahi hain. Phir apni sab sey choti ungli jis kay nakhun katey hun chikni kar kay ahista sey faraj kay ander daakhil karein, daakhil kartey waqt agar bohut zyada khauf ho to mushq sey aadha ghanta pehley valium ki 5mg ki ek goli ley lein jab ungli ka kuch hissa dakhil ho jaey to andazan ek minute kay ba'ad ek inch tak ungli daakhil karein iss doran jism ko dheela chor dein lambey lambey saans lain 5 minute tak isi tarah sakin rakhein aur phir ahista ahista 2 inch tak ungli ander ley jaein. Iss haalat mein jab aap pursukoon mehsoos karein to phir ungli ko ander baher harkat dein sath hi jism ko khusoosan faraj key muscles ko relax karein iss kay liye faraj ko kegel mushq sey bhee'nchein phir dheela chor dein kegel ki mushq ka zikr peechey mojood hai. Sath lambey lambey saans bhi lein jab aap choti ungli ki ander baher harkat ko aasani sey bardaasht kar lein to phir agla marhala shuru karein iss marhaley mein nakhun kati chikni shahadat ki ungli kay sath yehi mushq karein aur jab aap pursukoon aur aaraam deh mehsoos karein to phir yehi mushq, shahadat aur bari ungli kay sath karein agar aap inn donon ungliyon ki ander baher harkat ko aasani sey bardaasht karlein to agley marhaley per yehi mushq aap kay mian karein pehley ek ungli kay sath aur phir do ungliyon kay sath. Iss mushq ko aasan bananey kay liye aap saari mushq pehley tasawwur mein karein jab aap apni aur phir mian ki do ungliyon kay sath bhi aaram deh mehsoos karein phir asli mushq karein.  Jab aap ki do ungliyon ki ander baher harkat ko aasani sey bardaasht karlein to phir agla marhala mubashrat ka hoga magar iss mein bhi pehley ek do din ka'ee baar tasawwur mein mian kay sath mubashrat karein aur phir asli mubashrat karein mubashrat sey pehley lamba foreplay karein foreplay mein faraj ko mushta'el karein, iss sey faraj mazeed relax ho jaegi aur dakhool aasaan hoga. Foreplay sey pehlay mazeed sukoon kay liye aadh ghanta pehley valium ki 5mg ki ek goli ley lein mubashrat kay liye mian neechey laetey aur aap malika ki tarah ooper. Mu'nh mian ki taraf ho thora sa aagey jhuk kar zakar ko aap khud daakhil karein hath sey pakar kar bhi daakhil kar sakti hain. Ab chu'nkay dakhool ka control aap kay paas hai le'haza apni marzi sey jitna chahein daakhil karein zyada takleef ho to baher nikal dein dakhool kay ba'ad pehley to aap saakin rahein jab aap iss haalat mein aaraam deh mehsoos karein phir ahista ahista ooper neechey harkat karein ek aadh din mein aap kamyaab ho jaeingi. Ba'ad azaa'n aap mubashrat kay doosrey tariqey bhi istaemaal kar sakein gi agar aap apni madad aap kay tehet kamyaab na hun to phir kisi mahir e nafsiyat sey elaj kara'ein elaj mein der na ki jaey warna khawand ki sex mein dilchaspi bilkul khatam ho jaegi aur khaandaan kay bikharney ka shadeed khatra hoga. Agar aap aasani sey apni donon ungliyon ko baghaer kisi takleef kay faraj kay ander baher harkat dey sakti hain magar khawand mubashrat ki koshish nahin karta to iss surat mein aap kay liye bohut zaroori hai kay aap mubashrat mein pehel karein khawand kay jazbaat ko mushta'el karein amooman jad khawand kafi arsa mubashrat na kar sakey to phir woh mubashrat ki koshish hi nahin karta.  iss surat mein agar aap ney bharpoor koshish na ki to phir shayad kabhi mubashrat na ho sakey. Jab bhi koi cheez jinsi lazzat kay liye faraj mein dakhil ki jaey gi to aurat per ghusl e janabat lazim ho jaega. Agar jinsi lazzat kay baghaer elaj waghaera kay liye koi cheez maslan ungli faraj mein daakhil ki jaegi to ghusl wajib na hoga magar ba'az fuqha'a ki ra'ey mein jab bhi koi cheez faraj mein daakhil ki jaegi uska maqsad jinsi lazzat ho ya elaj, ghusl zarori ho jata hai ehtiyaat ka taqaza yehi hai kay iss mushq kay ba'ad ghusl kar liya jaey. 

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